Hey Mom!

Hey Mom! I wooed the crap out of a physician....  Well, more accurately I went to a walk-in clinic and the doctor was like who's your doctor? and then I was like no one and looked down at my shoes and the doctor was like here take this sheet and let someone take some of your life force [blood]  and I'll be your doctor. So there I was, living the dream. Until my doctor called me. That's right! My doctor called me! Now I know what you're thinking: Mack, open and honest communication is important! To that I would say, the following: Hold on. Hold on! HOLD! ON! You don't have all the information yet (because I've structured this narrative poorly)! He told me "No news is good news." AND THEN HE CALLED ME.  Now at this point, I'm just trying to play it cool because I don't want to get blacklisted from the medical community so when they told me I had to wait 4 days to get an appointment I said "Sounds good, have a lovely afternoon!...

Hey Mom! So once again, I am back and ready to discuss something that makes perfect sense to regular adults but zero sense to me! I need a family doctor and I've been trying to figure out how to.... you know... do that. So finally, I just called a clinic and they said there is a meet and greet so you can get to know your would-be physician. First of all, this is pointless because I've already read everything that has ever been posted about them on the internet. I'm talking google reviews, rate my doctor, checked for a twitter profile, etc., BUT THEN I REALIZED THEY COULD REJECT ME?! Hold on. Hoooooold onnnn. HOLD ON!  I live in Canada, I dwell in the comfort of knowing that even if I have no money, I can walk into an emergency room and after hours of waiting and having to make small talk with somebody's mom who just won't leave me alone, someone with a medical degree will eventually walk into the room and think that they are helping me. But this whole mee...