Hey Mom!

Hey Mom! So it's three weeks into the semester and we are about to head into the 1st worst week (rhyming adjectives bonus x 1000) .  Midterms are coming, papers are about to be due and we are starting to forget about all the hopes and dreams we had at Christmas.  Part of this is because we are all in school, working, making futurey-adult decisions and applying for summer jobs (except me I have a job... I think).  But the main reason is that our profs keep asking us, stupid, stupid questions thus slowly driving us insane. It's been awhile since I've done a top ten list (I'm still bitter that BuzzFeed took off while my private shaw webspace blog went unnoticed), but I'm back and ready to participate in the generation of numbered lists. Top Ten Inappropriate Questions to Pose to a University Student What are your plans for the future? Well I've forgotten what human food tastes like and I haven't slept in two days but somebody  keeps giving us assign

Hey Mom! So I am sitting in a room full of brightly coloured plastic chairs on wheels and I think that I may have truly lost my mind. Look at this chaos:    A few key features of what I am calling "The Crayola Disaster Unit": slide out cup holder ooooooh Wheels that do not lock in place  aaaaaah Weird penguin armrest things uuuuuuh? For those of you who are not aware, I was (am) that person who needed (needs) to sit in the same seat every class (also I should clarify that by needs I don't mean in a medical condition kind of way -- i.e. OCD-- I mean that I'm a very tightly wound individual and I find solace in assigned seating arrangements).  Anyway, now I can't even sit in the same seat every time because the seats are not fixed, so I have to settle for getting a red Crayola Disaster Unit every time but guess what? That sounds really infantile!  So now I have to pretend like I don't care what colour chair I get (even though I fluffing do!) A

Hey Mom! So once again I did not die on the first day of school!  What I am consistently surprised by, is how often smart people can be so stupid.  One of profs spent a bunch of time (squiggly equal sign 20 minutes) talking about how much research he has done in learning styles, how he is using a revolutionary lecture structure AND how he puts everything on the internet because knowledge should be free. And immediately-directly-within-the-same-breath (redundancy points x 1000) he tells us we need to purchase (with our actual money) a textbook that he wrote!  Does nobody see the problem here?!? Am I losing my mind? Is he trolling us? I think he is trolling us.  He has to be trolling us.  Right? Please, please tell me that this is some sort of sick joke. Please (just imagine like a sugar glider or a puppy with eyes welling with tears) tell me there is some reason left in these cavernous halls. Just as an aside.... sometimes I wish I was born in the victorian era so I could throw in

Hey Mom! First day of a new semester means so many things.  Firstly, all my new years resolutions with be immediately nixed.  Secondly, I will be on sleep withdrawal for the first two weeks of class (symptoms include increased caffeine intake, irritability and inability to accept emotional hardship).  It also means for the next 24 hours or so I will be gripped with a constant, nauseating anxiety.  Let me paint a picture of my madness for you: I am worried. What if I go to the wrong classes? What if I forget a pen? What if I accidentally registered in the wrong class? What if the class suddenly ceases to exist? What if the entire university is a fake like that movie I saw that one time? What if everyone in my life is actually trolling me an whenever I leave the room they just laugh and laugh? WHOA, whoa I need to calm down. I am nervous. What if my classes are too difficult? What if I buy the textbook early but don't use it? What if I wait too long and they run out

Hey Mom! So I had a hilarious post about live-tweeting Die Hard and a top ten about new years resolutions for other people.  But the truth is I'm taking a break from everything (by everything, I mostly mean Facebook) for a little while,  I am finding that social media (with the exception of twitter, I flipping love twitter) is frustrating me and exhausting me (again except twitter, I flipping love twitter).  I've been feeling this way for a long time but it's difficult when that is the only way I connect with a lot of my friends and family.  It's time for a break though and so instead of posting a status and making a huge deal out of something that's really nothing, I thought I'd post this here (and only here).  But why? Well because I know you will all miss me desperately (or maybe throw a party) and grow concerned and end up here.... How youuuu doin'? Great to see you, you look well! How're things?  Has that rash cleared up? I'll still be blo