Summer Job: The good, the bad and the simply bizarre

So I know it’s been awhile and I promised to do a blog about my job this summer but  haven’t had internet or the patience to get ‘er done.

First of all, let me just say that these were some of the best people I have ever worked with.  Great people, hard working but quirky, very, very quirky.

This summer I worked with a committee organising a plowing competition.  When I was hired and they started talking about plowing (yes plowing a field) my eyes would glaze over and I would smile and nod.  I feel reasonably confident I could now write my dissertation on the topic of plowing competitions and yes it does cause some degree of consternation.

Interview:

I was asked one question during my interview “Do you think you can do this job?”  the first 30 minutes were spent with my boss talking about the event and how spectacular it would be.  My job would be assisting with two events taking place over the summer. But my MAIN task, the biggest priority is this handbook.  The handbook is for the plowing competition, it contains rules, player profiles, etc.  The handbook will take most of my time and will be the highest achievement of my insignificant college life. Greeeeeeaaaaat.

Four hours later...

Call back interview.  Not because there were any further questions he needed to ask, because he needed to talk about the HANDBOOK!  Look at this handbook, compare these handbooks, the font of the handbook, hand book sections, handbook table of contents, handbook page number, handbook matte finish, handbook, handbook, handbook, you start the handbook on Wednesday.

Day One:

6.Hour.Meeting. We spent 15 minutes talking about the different colours of duct tape you can get at the hardware store.  We talked about stakes and plots and signs and all the things I was hired to do.  A handbook may have been mentioned once or twice or 27 times.  

The worst part of the meeting was the fact that I had to sit there (smiling and nodding) while people talked a sport I didn’t know existed until I interviewed for the job. All the while committee members were throwing out the word “plow” every other sentence completely ignorant of its alternate meaning... don’t tell me I am immature you laughed... admit it.

The Handbook:

Took approximately three weeks to complete.  Job = Done.... So what am I supposed to do with the rest of my summer?  I have the names of all the competitors and countries memorized simply because I spent so much time working on the handbook... I now hate myself a little bit.

Event One:
Event one was really a combination of lots of little events and quite frankly I don’t think anyone really cared about it.  Kind of like taking out the garbage, nobody wants to do it but at the end of the day everyone does their part to dump a pile of trash on the curb. But it opened my eyes to a whole new breed of people.  I’d like to introduce you to Mr.Needy:

Mr.Needy is too important to grace us mere mortals with his presence.  Mr.Needy is too busy to read emails.  Mr.Needy does however have time to call, email, and ask stupid questions.

Example:

Email from me:

Hi Everyone,

[General pleasantries before getting to the point]

Attached are the minutes, please let me know if you are unable to attend the next meeting May 15th at 6pm at [meeting location].

Email from Mr.Needy:

Where is the next meeting?

*Note the lack of salutations due to the fact that Mr.Needy is simply too busy dealing with more important people

Email from me:

Hello Mr.Needy,

The meeting is on May 15th at 6pm, it has been put in the minutes for your reference.

Have a great day.

Sincerely,
Mackenzie

Email from Mr.Needy:
Thx. Where is the meeting.

*Not even a question mark.

Email from me:

Hello again,

The meeting is at [meeting location] I have put it in the minutes for your reference.

Best regards,
Mackenzie


Email from Mr.Needy:
Srry, cant make it.

*It’s okay all I do is sit at my computer and wait for your to send me emails, I am not busy with actual work.  In fact I just take minutes at the meetings for fun.  No need to read them especially because you aren’t at any of the meetings so you definitely know what is going on.

Someone once said “There are no dumb questions.”  that person is a moron.

Land Mine

Land Mine: When you walk blindly into a heated situation and then have to stand there without moving so you don’t get blown to pieces.

Now one time in particular a meeting took a rather hostile turn and became a yelling match (apparently adults scream at each other too).  Watching successful, well-established adults fight like junior high girls is kind of like hearing your mom burp, you knew it was possible but the fact that it actually happened leaves your sense of reality shaken.  

And then my boss jumps up and leaves the room “gottago”

Well that’s great, I am taking minutes so I have my laptop and a notebook out.  Then I just sit there for a minute thinking Do I leave because he’s my boss or do I stay and finish the minutes 

Lesson 1 of the Workplace: Hesitation will get you killed.

My hesitation ruined one well timed and dramatic exit.  My boss came back and told me to “c’mon” (not using his inside voice I might add).  Back at the office he literally stood and looked over my shoulder for the rest of the afternoon.  Personally I would rather have someone drag their fingernails down a chalkboard than have someone standing over me like I need supervision (and chalk dust irritates my lungs so I’m not messing around when I say that).

Lesson 2 of the Workplace: When your boss leaves, you leave.

Event One: Pulling It Off

You know when you have an essay due and you don’t even start until the night before you have to hand it in?  And then you spend a couple weeks wondering if your teacher thinks you are a complete idiot only to get it back with a good grade.  Well that is sort of what happened.  It felt like everybody had a vague idea of what was supposed to happen but the specifics were still to be worked out.  And then we pulled it off!  Everyone just went with it and got the job done like a boss!

Finally to finish this up because it is going on four pages (I think I will do two or three parts on this subject). I have a top ten for you, just imagine the appropriate meme picture with each statement. 

Top Ten Things I Hated About Being A Summer Student

1. When someone assumes you are stupid because you are younger than they are. 
2. Monday mornings 
3. My office was in between the conference room and the copy room so people waltzed through my office every ten minutes.  Also if people start yelling at each other in a private meeting I could hear every word 
4. Ya Mama!  Just kidding I could never hate ya mama.
5. The back storage room... imagine a really organized garage or attic... now imagine a tornado ripped through the room and blocked all the exits and made everything impossible to find.
6. The broken printer that beeped every five seconds... and sat right outside my office.  I don’t know which was worse the beeping or the string of curse words that generally followed from the poor soul who was foolish enough to try and print something.
7. “Can you email this document out to these people?”  Emails me document and list of email addresses...
8. “If there is an emergency call me on my cell” - doesn’t answer cell phone and voicemail box is full.
9. “If you aren’t busy can you do this?” Walks out before I can tell them I am, in fact, extremely busy.
10. “Can you fax this for me?” -Guy standing in front of the fax machine

I will try and get the 2nd part of this up tomorrow but as always no promises! Themes to look forward to are Sanity, Champsosaurs, Canada is Big!, Breakaway Lanyards and much more!

That is all.