This One is Gross (With Visual Aids)
Hey Mom!
So I like the idea of natural remedies. The idea of limited side effects and being able to brag about how much better I am than you on Facebook... What? I'M KIDDING (if you're offended by this take some peppermint extract and shove it where the sun don't shine). It just seems like if I could solve a problem at home with a bit of lemon juice and garlic instead of sitting in a crowded waiting room, being contagious and being contaged upon, why wouldn't I? So I did some research, I started at forums to find articles, I went to articles and found an array of doctors and naturopaths who seemed credible. Then when I went to the doctor to get a throat swab to test for strep throat and she told me that the recovery time was the same with or without antibiotics. So I think to myself, well while I am waiting for this throat swab I might as well try out a few of these remedies!
So this is day oneish:
Day two:
Day three:
As you can see the swelling is now out of control. So much so that they are pushing on my gag reflex so I'm stuck in gif-mode for hours just gagging and vomiting.
Day 5:
It's at this point that I go to emerge and it is definitely strep throat. And let me tell you, they give me all the drugs. Needles and tubefuls of synthetic unnatural lab chemicals forced into my veins. All the -ines and -ols you could imagine. It. Was. Glorious. The swelling went down, the pain went away and I even got a fluid top up. I went home and slept for the first time in two days.
So what have I learned?
Well, firstly don't wait until your airway is fairly obstructed and you can't stop vomiting to go back to the doctor.
Secondly, Nature is not your friend. Nature is trying to maim and kill you. If I've learned anything in my limited existence it is that fighting fire with fire almost never works (except when they literally fight fire with fire to contain forest fires... that's pretty cool).
Thirdly, I'm about to find out who does not understand my sense of humour and is going to give me an annoying lecture about essential oils and how they should be used in tandem with modern medicine... I know... it's a joke... because the real issue was that it was undiagnosed strep throat? See, now I've had to explain the joke so it's not funny anymore... let me lay out how this whole thing works to prevent this in the future...
Ok so, the theme of this blog is usually as follows:
1. Here are my good but also cheap and relatively ill-thought out intentions.
2. Here's how it all goes horribly and hilariously wrong.
3. That is all.
DID YOU SEE WHAT I DID THERE?!? Man alive, I am smoother than Kraft peanut butter sometimes.
So I like the idea of natural remedies. The idea of limited side effects and being able to brag about how much better I am than you on Facebook... What? I'M KIDDING (if you're offended by this take some peppermint extract and shove it where the sun don't shine). It just seems like if I could solve a problem at home with a bit of lemon juice and garlic instead of sitting in a crowded waiting room, being contagious and being contaged upon, why wouldn't I? So I did some research, I started at forums to find articles, I went to articles and found an array of doctors and naturopaths who seemed credible. Then when I went to the doctor to get a throat swab to test for strep throat and she told me that the recovery time was the same with or without antibiotics. So I think to myself, well while I am waiting for this throat swab I might as well try out a few of these remedies!
So this is day oneish:
 |
| As you can see it is uncomfortable but not horrendous. So I diluted apple cider vinegar, I gargled with salt water, I took echinacea. Look at me, basically a naturopath. |
Day two:
 |
| Little redder, more painful but I mean that's how these things go. So I continue on diluting and drinking and gargling. |
Day three:
 |
| Ow. So it hurts and has started to swell in ways that I could've never imagined |
At this point, I have not received a phone call from the clinic which means the test is negative. It's not strep. Perfect! That means it's viral so all I have to do is drink lots of fluids and keep on keepin' on with the home remedies. And in honey, lemon, chilli powder and continue.
Day four:
 |
| This is me trying... |
Day 5:
 |
| I sent this in video form to my Mom with the text "I don't even know what to do about this anymore" |
It's at this point that I go to emerge and it is definitely strep throat. And let me tell you, they give me all the drugs. Needles and tubefuls of synthetic unnatural lab chemicals forced into my veins. All the -ines and -ols you could imagine. It. Was. Glorious. The swelling went down, the pain went away and I even got a fluid top up. I went home and slept for the first time in two days.
So what have I learned?
Well, firstly don't wait until your airway is fairly obstructed and you can't stop vomiting to go back to the doctor.
Secondly, Nature is not your friend. Nature is trying to maim and kill you. If I've learned anything in my limited existence it is that fighting fire with fire almost never works (except when they literally fight fire with fire to contain forest fires... that's pretty cool).
Ok so, the theme of this blog is usually as follows:
1. Here are my good but also cheap and relatively ill-thought out intentions.
2. Here's how it all goes horribly and hilariously wrong.
3. That is all.
DID YOU SEE WHAT I DID THERE?!? Man alive, I am smoother than Kraft peanut butter sometimes.
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