Hey Mom!

Hey Mom! So I've figured out this whole 'self-motivation' thing. You're welcome! I know what you're thinking Mack, many people with more education, life experience and good looks than you have been studying the art of motivation for decades! How have you accomplished such a feat?!? The short answer is that I have turned to chemical enhancement. The long answer is forthcoming! Steps to a Productive Day: Get up! This is probably the hardest part for most people. I like to promise myself food or set a really loud and scary alarm clock. Waste most of your day! This is definitely the easiest part. Lately I've been playing a lot of Pocket Camp which (while incredibly empowering) is a complete and utter waste of my time. There are so many other more better things I could be doing! But planting my butt on the couch and draining the hours away on a bit of Pocket Camp reaallly drains those long hours out of my day. This is my character: she is zany and has gre

Hey Mom! You know what people never get tired? People posting about their 'fitness journey' on the internet! But this is no ordinary fitness tale! This is an interactive (ish) photographic journey of my kinda gross gym!  *** 3x exclamation point multiplier!!! (also I'm sorry but I just got back from the gym so I am full of whatever hormone drives people to use such ebullient vocabulary)*** I did not want to go to the gym tonight. In fact, I even typed 'Is is dangerous to go to the gym while cold and tired?' into google. And you know what the google told me? The internet said that unless I have a bleeding disorder to go to the gym. So I put on my most hilarious tank top and galaxy headband and stalled for an hour and then went to the (kinda) gross gym.  Firstly, I stepped in this puddle, it's not relevant to this post but I wanted you to know. A couple weeks ago my roommate pointed out to me that this spit has been there since we started going to

Hey Mom! It was very briefly jean jacket season this week. Now I have a confession to make, I have resisted the siren call of the jean jacket. I know what you're thinking Mackenzie how could you not see the appeal of versatile, layerable jacket that is, no doubt, the centre piece of what the youths call a 'Canadian Tuxedo'? To that I would say that first of all, a Canadian Tuxedo was a Canadian Tuxedo loooong before the youths stumbled upon that particular piece of vernacular. Secondly, I know ok? What do you want to hear? That I was wrong? Oh.... ok, yeah I was wrong. So anyway, for the briefest moment in time this week it was jean jacket weather. And you know what I love about jean jacket weather? Of course you do! Unafraid we shed our puffy winter coils and reach for the sunshine. And as if it knows the cold we have suffered, as if it can see our chilled marrow, the jean jacket absorbs the golden rays and holds them for us. That we might, at long last, feel the war

Hey Mom! I am a curious being. You know this. One of my many curiosities is health food. I like the idea that there is some combination of proteins, lipids and carbs out there that will transform me into a super human. I also often wonder why on earth all the super veggies taste like poison. You guys, we have adapted over many, many, maaaaany years to survive by not touching things that are hot and washing our hands after we use the bathroom. So when I made lunch today and my body screamed "No, no, this is poison, no!" I had to stop and wonder whether this was my primal instincts trying to save me from myself. Now I love vegetables! But mostly the run-of-the-mill ones like tomatoes, iceberg lettuce and cucumbers. How am I supposed to reach my true form if I don't delve into the undesirables of the produce aisle? I'm talking arugula, wheat grass and rapini. For those of you who don't know, rapini is an abomination that is related to broccoli BUT (and as yo

Hey Mom! So I was sending out emails at 2am this morning (as one does) and one such email needed to include a paragraph about myself. OK BUT WHY THOUGH?!? Here's the thing, I could write 17 different paragraphs about who I am as a living, breathing, complex, multicellular organism and they could all be true! Examples are forthcoming (don't worry I didn't do seventeen paragraphs... I could though... totally could): The Professional Paragraph: To Whom it May Concern, My name is Mackenzie and I am a recent university graduate. Furthermore, my use of commas and transition words is intended to demonstrate my level of education. Wait for it; that was a semi-colon. I am being very serious to demonstrate to you that I can pretend to take myself seriously. Allow me to list only my hobbies that sound like things adults should spend their time on and casually include my accolades for you. Even superheroes need to know how to write a professional cover letter. The F