Hey Mom!

Hey Mom! You know what's funny?  Of course you do you're reading this.  My last post was about how ridiculous I was as an 18 year-old and recently I have had three (count it three) incidences wherein it is as if my teenage self has resurfaced.  In traditional Hey Mom! fashion I will describe these scenarios in a series of dramatic narratives. The Stupid Never Sleep It's late, my coffee mug has long been emptied and the sweet steam of caffeinated ambrosia has long dissipated.  The sounds of cars passing my open window is gone, leaving only silence to remain.  It started slowly, my heart rate begins to rise and then thunder in my chest.  Suddenly my face is burning with the flush of laboured breathing.  Drawing in air produces but a small wheeze and my ribs seem to tighten and threaten to collapse as if under the strain of an unseen corset.  I am slow to react, as if running through mud my brain screams at leaden limbs to move, but they can only lethargically comply

Hey Mom! So while you have all been doing productive things with your lives I have been redefining the parameters of blogdom as we know it!  If you click on the Top Ten Lists it will bring you to EVERY top 10 list in the history of Hey Mom! but wait there's more!  All these posts come with tags so you can look up related posts (eg. all my lists from the Olds College days). I realize in an earlier post I said my first two years of blogging were really pathetic and whiny but I got a great deal of enjoyment going through these old posts looking for top 10 lists.  Seeing the world through 18 year old me was kind of like talking to someone who is either really naive or very sarcastic and perhaps slightly deranged  I was repeatedly surprised at how quickly I formed opinions about things I knew nothing about (and you know I thought I sounded so intelligent when in fact I was really just being obnoxious). But I won't bore you with my trip down memory lane, instead I have brought yo

Hey Mom! So I had a good ol' regular bad day today.  When you are a university student bad days are like parties, they lure you in with the promise of food and merriment, and then you end up sitting in a corner with a bunch of weirdos eating stale cheetos.  However, I have come up with a list of ways to combat your bad day, (and you can thank me later) you don't need to use all these at once and if you are unable to use one strategy move on to the next. 1. Pay for something in all dimes and nickels. This can be something small like a coffee but if you are ambitious try to buy a whole meal. This will make you feel better because it reminds you to take joy in the little things and sometimes the look on the cashier's face is worth it (also it reminds you someone else is suffering a little too). 2. Look yourself in the mirror and sing "The Next Big Thing" by FM Static Why? Because you are awesome and who better to tell you that than yourself (who, may I remi

Hey Mom! Don't worry I didn't actually do drugs. I just pretended to do drugs by accident.  Want me to elaborate? Ok here we go!  I was making chips yesterday (I like white potatoes because they slice really thin, but in terms of taste I like red potatoes but baking potatoes cook evenly) and I got parched because I was eating the chips as soon as they came out of the microwave (yes the microwave, I got a contraption for Christmas).  So I thought I am going to treat myself to crystal light (cherry pomegranate flavour in case you are wondering).  My hands were a little slick with the blood of a legion of potatoes so I decided to use my teeth to open the packet.  Yes I know you shouldn't use your teeth for stuff like that believe me I spent years with braces and then a retainer. But occasionally you just need some dental strength, so I've developed a system! * checkerboard transition, a bright flash shoots across the screen leaving an Apple Chancery font in it's wa

Hey Mom! So you may or may not have noticed depending on the frequency with which you visit this blog that there are some changes unfolding on thE website.  I have decided to update and maintain this site with a little more frequency for a few reasons (they aren't any of your business but lucky for you I am willing to share): 1. I would like to make money writing someday and practice makes publishable. 2. My life is actually more complicated than Top Ten Lists once every couple months. 3. I really enjoy this and I think I could make this website even better if I give it a little more attention. 4.  I waste my time doing a lot of pointless things like trying to invent a contraptions out broken stuff I've kept, cleaning my room, or playing apps I actually hate. So I will be trying to update Hey Mom! a minimum of once a week as well as I have started adding pictures under the heading Adventures of Wol.   Wol is a ceramic owl that was given to me by Danielle when I left fo

Hey Mom! Time for a little real talk.  While I don't believe in new year's resolutions I do believe in looking in the mirror and thinking I am the worst person in all humanity.  And that's exactly what I did today.  Over the holidays I got so wrapped up with what I thought I needed, how I wanted to spend my time, things I did and did not wanted to do.  Me, me, me, I, I, I… The worst part is I didn't even realize I was doing it, I thought I was entitled to my actions. School is harder than I thought Basketball isn't turning out the way I wanted I don't get to see every single person I know from Alberta over the holidays So my holidays are shortened because I am playing basketball and getting some of my post secondary education paid for… poor freaking me.  In hindsight I feel so pathetic, it's like I morphed into an ungrateful, entitled brat. So why am I telling you this?  Well because I don't want to type this out, I don't want to admit the