Oh to be young and stupid and happy and miserable and surprised and frightened again... wait a minute that doesn't sound that great.

Hey Mom!

Over the weekend I watched my old college, Olds College (haaaaaa) finish off their playoff run and it brought back all my fond (and not so fond) memories of college.  In fact, I am constantly torn between longing for my college days,  and being so thankful that those days are loooong gone (what is the deal with my repeating vowels todaaaay).  So I have decided the only way to pay the appropriate tribute to those beautifully awful days is with a top ten list!

*Applause Light Illuminates*

*Applause Light Turns Off*

*Tech glares at random guy in the back who is still clapping"

Top Ten Ways College is the Best-Worst

1. Small Campus
Best: No traffic, no line ups and all the buildings are really easy to find.
Worst: When you are late you have absolutely no excuse.

2. No Loitering

Best: For whatever reason at the university people feel the need to sit on the stairs.  There are benches at the top of the stairs and benches at the bottom of the stairs, people are crowded around trying to get by these other people who insist on sitting in the middle of a stair case.... WHY? But not at good old college, most people lived on campus or in town so there was little or no loitering in high traffic areas because everyone could go home between classes.
Worst: Later in the evening, campus stops feeling like a small town college and starts feeling like a horror film.

3. Livestock

Best: The number of cow related puns I made in two years at Olds College has got to be a record.
Worst: Sometimes you wake up in the middle of the night to hear cows proclaiming every injustice ever done to beef in the form of loud and extended mooing. Also sometimes you got stuck behind a horse drawn wagon at Tim Hortons.

4. Ya Mama

Best: She loves you know matter what!
Worst:  Sometimes that love comes in the tough variety.

5. I was 18

Best: I believed anything was possible.  The world was a bucket of sunshine and puppies.
Worst: Every time something even remotely bad happened my reality was shattered, then I'd glue it all back together with my newfound realization... then 10 seconds later life would hit it with a sledgehammer.

6. Deadlines and Lack Thereof

Best: If you miss an application date or an assignment is late most of the time you can catch a break.
Worst: When you are waiting for scholarship money or marks to be posted deadlines become more like guidelines.

7. Sharing
Best: You can bring cookies to class and share with everyone without having to bake 500 cookies.  You can organize snack days and with everyone living on campus there is always someone to lend anything you might need.
Worst: When one person gets the flu, the whole campus gets the flu... "We share, we share everything!"*

8. Labs

Best: There were so few of us in the lab we had a lot of freedom during the lab period.  It was a time of wonder and discovery.
Worst: Our labs never worked because we used outdated chemicals... also we didn't have a fume hood or proper waste disposable and sometimes there was soil on the benches when we came in... you could say they were soiled (haaaaa

9. The Cafeteria

Best: Lots of variety and it's all you can eat
Worst: They took the burger patties from a can... FROM A CAN!

10. Everyone knows each other.
Best: You get a real sense of community, you see your friends during the day, your prof knows your name, and you are in class with all the same people.
Worst: There is always one person you cannot stand... and you see them everywhere.  They are in every class, every hallway, every treadmill at the gym, every table at the caf, and in every nightmare.

TA DAH! College you have been Best-Worsted!

So there you have it kids! Go to college, you'll only hate your life some of the time!

That is all.

*This is a Robert Munsch quote from his book We Share Everything if you or someone you love does not know how to share I suggest you give it a read