I'm Breaking Up with You

Dear Epson Printer,

You're the worst.  I've given this relationship everything I have but I'm tired.  Tired of doing the little things like replacing your ink cartridges and making sure you have any size and density paper you could ask for. Until today that has all been worth it.  All the fighting and paper jams and ridiculously expensive ink, I was happy to work things out. Until today.  Today I realized that the problem wasn't the ink.  You had plenty of ink.  You are a greedy and ungrateful printer,.

I have needs.  And today I paid 11 cents to have those needs met by communal printer at the library.   You could've been my one and only Epson Printer... I would've been faithful to you until the ends of the earth. I will not cry any more tears because of you Epson Printer.  I've had enough yesterdays and given up too many tomorrows.  We're done.

Sincerely,

Mackenzie T Judd

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Richard Cross 1960-2014

Image
Loss can seem unfair in so many ways.  It feels unfair when it seems too soon.  It feels unfair that some pass old and grey while others seem to live within the span of mere moments.  To me, the most unfair aspect of loss is that nothing stops.  Tomorrow will still come, the phone will still ring.  People will continue working and tweeting and texting as if all is well in the world.  The world should stop, everyone should stop. Why don't they stop? Richard Cross had an impact on the people that he met.  Richard Cross was a husband, a father, a brother, a friend.  Richard Cross was significant, and saw the significance of the people he interacted with. So why? Why during this time of loss is there still work and traffic and classes? How can the internet machine continue to churn out meaningless posts while we are faced with the daunting task of mixing joy and sorrow?  While we celebrate the life of Richard Cross and we accept the fact that our world is a little paler.  Why don&#
Read more

Irreversibly Redeemed

Hey Mom! Wanna hear something cool and mildly disgusting? Of course you do... that's why you're here.  I have two zits that are symmetrically located on either side of my nose... pretty awesome eh?  These gemini zits are brought to you by your local final exams.  That's right folks just 3 back to back exams and I am home free! You may have noticed that this weekend is Easter.  There are so many things I love about Easter: time with family, a long weekend and the knowledge that the last few new years resolution survivors are being crushed under the temptation of creme eggs and chocolate bunnies so all the Facebook statuses about them being better than the rest of us is going to finally come to an end. There is one thing about Easter that I do have a bit of a struggle with... the fact that someone else had to die for me. It's not because it doesn't paint the perfect picture of love... it does.   It's not because I don't believe it happened... I do
Read more

Animal Crossing: A Double Edged Sword

Image
Hey Mom! Let's just cut to the chase shall we? I GAVE MYSELF HAND-STRAIN BY PLAYING TOO MUCH ANIMAL CROSSING! This is me... not being weird at all. So I bought myself Animal Crossing after a particularly stressful day. You ever just want to be alone on an island? Where the sun is shining and nobody can bother you. Where you can slip into a nice cat-wizard outfit and lie on the beach without a care in the world.  Now I may have been overzealous in curating the perfect island (I have a parade of fossils set up). AND THEN I DID THIS: So 85 hours is probably too many... definitely too many. So I noticed my hands felt sore where the console sits on my thumb flesh (again sorry, much like neck meat there's no good terminology... I would assume I did not check). BUT THEN MY HANDS LOCKED UP LIKE I HAD CARPAL TUNNEL! I went to pick up a pen and my finger locked in place, and you know what? IT WAS TERRIFYING, OLIVIONNE!  And you know in these trying times I am
Read more