Rode-OH NO!

Hey Mom!

I know what you are thinking: How terrified are you right now? Medium, let's move on.

So due to my recent career change, I have spent an exponential amount of time at rodeos. Now I know we would love to sit around and discuss the moral implications of rodeos BUT I'M TRYING TO BRING SOME LEVITY TO THE TABLE SAMANDA! There are so many places on the internet you can fight about this... this is not one of those places so please please either read my fun story or go away. See, look... now you've made me hostile. Are you pleased with yourself, Carscilla?

So a few months ago, I was at one of these such events. Honestly, I have all the rodeo knowledge of a 3 year-old: I know the difference between the cows and the horsies and I do not understand why I cannot pet the cows. Don't ask me about the events or how the scoring works because I do not know.

ANYWAY I am at this rodeo (seeing the sights, living in fear of the horses) when they announce the next event: wild cow milking. Now please recall that most of the livestock knowledge I have comes from movies so really all I know for sure is that bulls have horns and cows do not...

BUT 

(and it is a big but) when the cow enters the ring (the pitch? the arena? I honestly do not know) they have horns. THEY HAVE HORNS! At this point, I cannot control the look of absolute horror on my face because I have no idea what kind of country-bumpkin-backwards-hicktown event is about to go down. And then they hand out these empty water bottles to the would-be cow milkers and I start to look for a place to discretely vomit if I have to watch any more of this.

And then I realize what a complete and total moron I am: lady cows have horns. 
Lady cows have horns and I am a big dumb, city slicker idiot that would surely die in the wild,



That is all.







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