ExerWHY's

Hey Mom!

Now that the only sport I play is Wii Tennis (bowling is too hard, boxing is exhausting and quite frankly, golf is stupid) and I need to find brand new ways to take control of my fitness... yes I have joined the ranks of mere mortals and now need to motivate myself to exercise:

Top Ten Reasons to Work Out

1. Serial killers exist: Think about that next time you decide to go for a run,  fleeing imminent death cardio is next level.

2. Groceries: specifically having to make two whole trips after a large grocery run (I'm looking at you Costco), I'd rather die... at the gym so I never have to enter into the purgatory that is two-trip groceries.

3.You never know when you'll have to win an arm wrestle: seriously wars have been won and lost, nations conquered or defeated all because of poor fitness.

4.Ya Mama shouldn't be able to lift more weight than you... she's frail

5.Combatting butt disease: What happens when you find yourself in a situation where you have to hover and you fall because of a quad cramp, knock yourself unconscious and then a first responder sees you naked?!? I don't know about you but I'd rather feel like a doofus at the gym.

6. Sweatpants exist - the more you work out, the more often you can justify sweatpants.  The more often you can justify sweatpants, the more often you will be a comfier, happier human being.

7. All those stupid songs you are embarrassed about on your iPod.  Those songs have all just become your workout mix and no one can judge you because:
      a) They either understand doing whatever it takes to get through a workout.  Yeah so what if I need to listen to Mama Said Knock You Out in order to use the treadmill?
OR
      b) They don't workout at all and so they can just shut their dang mouth.

8. Tight pants: pants are only ever tight for two reasons: Muscle or fat.  One of those makes you feel proud, the other one makes you feel like a yogurt tube.

9. Guilt free tacos: Coincidentally also the only reason I go to class.

10. Birthing Mammals: You think you are just going to shoot an infant out from between your legs with no conditioning? Some people are in labour for days. DAYS! And then once you enter the world you are constantly feeding and changing and generally chasing after the thing.  You need strength trains and cardio for an endeavour like that.  If you are like me and don't want kids, I just remember someday I want to be able to keep up with my puppy, who's name will be Gadget.

I'd say the above reasons work most of the time and when those don't I usually just remind myself that the only thing harder than working out when you're young is working out when you're old.

That is all.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Richard Cross 1960-2014

Irreversibly Redeemed

Animal Crossing: A Double Edged Sword