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No One Was Hurt
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Hey Mom!
I work at a gym:
This morning at the gym I complained about this:
Then this happened:
This is the chair I sit on when I'm on break:
This is where people put on their runners. This is where my manager chats with customers. This is where the trainer's daughter hangs out when she goes to work with her dad.
Hey Mom! As you may have guessed from the title, I have recently acquired a poncho and it has changed my life. It has embraced my in its warm, multipurpose, economically priced arms and hood. Now if I'm honest (and I am nothing if not honest), I was not sold on the poncho. I know what you're thinking Mackenzie, how could you be hesitant about such a warm, sensibly patterned, economically priced gem?!?! And the answer to that is: NEW THINGS MAKE ME NERVOUS. Do you have any idea how long it was before I gave ellipticals a chance? It was years. I took one look at that low impact cardio machine and said "No thank you Sir or Madam, your futuristic, stationary, space skis make too many promises that they can't keep." However, my roommate, who was gracious enough to go with me, reminded me that trying on a poncho wouldn't kill me. So I did. I lived in the moment and I donned what would become the economically-priced poncho of my dreams. And let me tell yo...
Hey Mom! If you've been in this alcove of the internet for awhile you know that I'm fairly certain that my life is a sitcom. With that in mind, a car dweller tendency (CDT) may be defined in the following way: Car Dweller Tendencies (CDT) - if you found out I was living out of my car, you wouldn't be surprised. Now, I'm imagining a cartoonish sitcom world where solutions to all problems can be found within 30 minutes. This means that I'm probably living in my car for a hilarious and very fixable reason (like I'm too stubborn to admit that a clown lamp given to me as a housewarming gift scares me... or something, I haven't put too much thought into it). So recently, I pulled into work and happened to park next to my boss.... then I realized that I had a pillow, a sleeping bag and a waffle iron in the backseat from a recent trip to Lethbridge (don't ask me why I needed a waffle iron, I just did). Then I realized if my boss walked past my car and th...
Hey Mom! Once again, I have been humbled by reality and general principles of physics. I want to start by saying that at no point in time should you feel sorry for me during this story. I did this to myself. I was doing a fair bit of running at the beginning of COVID but then I got sad and busy and also sad so I stopped. Since June 2020 I have run exactly TWO times. ALSO (because you really should not have even an ounce of pity for me) it is important to note that I have never been a long distance runner... ever. Onward! I decided to participate in an ultra marathon relay (ie. I ran part of a race that some people can run all by themselves… good for them). In the beginning, I had every intention of taking this seriously. I was going to go for runs and workout and drink water. What I did do was exactly none of those things. Instead I rolled up on race day wearing my housecoat with a backpack full of snacks. I drank 200mL of water and went on my way. Just a fool in a housecoat tempting f...
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