Hey Mom!

Hey Mom! HAPPY BLOGGIVERSARY! Let us take pause and recall last 5 years...the laughter, the tears, all those times I had diarrhea and told you too much. Good times. September. A new start to an old beginning. Still working on an undergrad degree and guess what this is my last year of the aforementioned degree (providing I don't smash my face through a car window and forget how to read or, you know, get distracted). So what should we expect during this fine September? Excitement? Sure! The thrill of learning? Absolutely. The icy grip of depression that crushes the sun into the horizon line until winter arrives and daylight ceases to exist? You bet! But you know what? After a summer of acquiring adult abilities (ALLITERATION 4x MULTIPLIER) I've learned that all the things you thought were the end of the world are not, in fact, the end of the world. When I was 13, the end of the world was my sister wearing the same colour denim as me. When I was 16, the end of the world...

Hey Mom! You know what I just realized.  Things are good again.  I knew that someday things would be good again.  I knew that the way I felt this past year wouldn't last forever.  I knew I would recover and move on and heal.  I didn't know that all at once I'd realize things are good. I'm tutoring which I love. I'm in the middle of two big pieces of writing both of which bring me so much joy. I auditioned for a webseries and we start filming this week. I started my very own Etsy page and I get to create things which is something I've wanted to do for a very long time but never had the confidence or the time. I wrote an open letter Bob Saget and I didn't care that is was completely and utterly weird because it was funny and it was something I wanted to do so I did it. I rode my bike in a Thor costume and wasn't even mortified. I am so very fortunate to be able to do all these things.  Things I love doing, things that make me smile.  Thin...

Hey Mom! As you may have heard, Robin Williams passed away this week.  After the initial shock, his death has sparked a lot of really important conversation topics like  What is depression? How did someone so good at making us laugh hide such unimaginable pain? Why does Mental Health  still  carry   such a social stigma? These are important and we need to talk about them more but I am not an expert.  I can't tell you anything other than my story: I am struggling with depression right now...today, in this moment.  Today is neither especially good nor especially bad. Today is one bead in a long string of bad days.  I had the will power to get out of bed today but that is just about it. I've sat down three or four times the past couple days trying to write this.  I stopped because I realized halfway through one draft that I didn't care.  I stopped because thinking about the person I used to be and who I am now is incredibly painful. ...