Hey Mom!

Hey Mom! So I was sending out emails at 2am this morning (as one does) and one such email needed to include a paragraph about myself. OK BUT WHY THOUGH?!? Here's the thing, I could write 17 different paragraphs about who I am as a living, breathing, complex, multicellular organism and they could all be true! Examples are forthcoming (don't worry I didn't do seventeen paragraphs... I could though... totally could): The Professional Paragraph: To Whom it May Concern, My name is Mackenzie and I am a recent university graduate. Furthermore, my use of commas and transition words is intended to demonstrate my level of education. Wait for it; that was a semi-colon. I am being very serious to demonstrate to you that I can pretend to take myself seriously. Allow me to list only my hobbies that sound like things adults should spend their time on and casually include my accolades for you. Even superheroes need to know how to write a professional cover letter. The F...

Hey Mom! I'm currently pushing the limits of the imaginary Thursday deadline I've made for myself. I know what you're thinking Mack, this thrill seeking behaviour is dangerous. I know, I've written myself a strongly worded admonishment and put it in my day planner with the hopes that I'll be more responsible in the future. I would like to talk to you today about a selfish Christmas decision that I made today. I looked all that was holly and jolly straight in the face and said "Bah! Humbug!" <--- this is not true, I added it for stylistic purposes and also because a humbug sounds like a really fun friend who knows the melody but none of the words to all your favourite songs. I bought Star Wars wrapping paper. Not because I come from a long line of Star Wars fans (if anything, I come from a long line of Star Wars tolerators). Not because Star Wars is Christmas themed (although a tauntaun of people have made the case that Episode V is full of Ho...