Hey Mom!

Hey Mom! You know what I just realized.  Things are good again.  I knew that someday things would be good again.  I knew that the way I felt this past year wouldn't last forever.  I knew I would recover and move on and heal.  I didn't know that all at once I'd realize things are good. I'm tutoring which I love. I'm in the middle of two big pieces of writing both of which bring me so much joy. I auditioned for a webseries and we start filming this week. I started my very own Etsy page and I get to create things which is something I've wanted to do for a very long time but never had the confidence or the time. I wrote an open letter Bob Saget and I didn't care that is was completely and utterly weird because it was funny and it was something I wanted to do so I did it. I rode my bike in a Thor costume and wasn't even mortified. I am so very fortunate to be able to do all these things.  Things I love doing, things that make me smile.  Thin...

Hey Mom! Why do we blame ourselves for the things that are not our fault? What is it that makes us choose to hold on to shame that we don't own? Our hearts latch on and feed from the guilt as if it's keeping us alive.  Maybe it is.  Maybe taking the blame for something outside of our control gives us control.   Maybe feeling guilt is better than feeling helpless.  Perhaps the knowledge that terrible things happen and there is nothing we can do to alter the course is so frightening that we would rather live hating ourselves.  Hindsight is not always 20x20, hindsight is selective, it is guided by what we want to see.  And we want to see guilt, we want to see that we had a hand in what happened.  All the "if only"s and "I should have"s amount to us reaching for anything to slow our free fall. And perhaps this will keep us alive, for a time.  But guilt is a paramedic, it can patch us up for a little while but in the end what we need is a surge...

Hey Mom! So you may have noticed a new tab which leads you to my video blogs which I have been putting out every day (I'm not promising to put one out every day because as soon as I do, disaster will strike and the internet will break). Aaaaaaaand we are moving on... much like our wardrobe when I was six, my sister has decided to replicate my blog in the form of a response so: Step 1: Read  Your Inner Weirdness  from my blog Step 2: Read  My Inner Weirdness  from her blog Step 3: Proceed skimming the rest of this post Here is what I think about the things Taylor thinks about the weird things I think about: 1. I would never ever vandalize a bathroom stall because it's wrong and nasty.... And I would most definitely get caught because I wheeze when I feel too much adrenaline. 2. Rosie was a backstabbing harlot and I am proud of Taylor for cutting her loose.  Her imaginary friend was bringing her down. 3. WOW! Firstly I was not lying, it was sarc...

Hey Mom! Is it as awkward for you as it is for me when I try to follow up an emotional blog post with the ramblings of a semi-sane individual? Yeah I thought so,  lets just get all the awkward out of the way by observing a long uncomfortable silence...... ....Ok now we can pursue new kinds of awkward!!!! So in keeping with the theme of authenticity I have come up with a top ten list of weird things I think about: 1. I really REALLY want to write "Who is nasty enough to bring a sharpie into a public bathroom" on the wall of a bathroom stall... Why? I would like to witness the ensuing chaos as vandals everywhere attempt to validate themselves while pointing how hypocritical that statement is. 2. Sometimes I give up on a story because I don't want anything bad to happen to my characters... which basically means I have imaginary friends 3. Sometimes when I'm talking to people I try to picture what kind of mythical creature they would be......

Hey Mom! So I've been trying to write about something else all week but this topic is not content to simply tumble around in my brain and has expressed this discontent in the form of writer's block.  So after facebooking and tweeting about it,  I have officially given in and will write a full length blog post.  In a previous post  I talked about the callousness of my generation and how we have the tendency to glaze over really horrific events in the world without feeling anything.  The more I think about it, the more I realize that is not isolated to historical events or things happening on the other side of the globe.  This aloofness is entrenched in everything we do.  Passionate people are obsessive.  Friendly people are overbearing.  Sad people are emotionally unstable.  We distance ourselves from any full expression of emotion outside the context of the Olympics.  We have traded authenticity and compassion for facades and sarc...