We Should Be Having Brunch
Hey Mom,
It's Mother's Day.
I can't help but think we should be having brunch. There should be some new flowers in a vase, the fancy plates should be on the table, there should be a meal we offered to cook for you, but you insisted you wanted to cook for us, even on Mother's day. We should be having brunch.
The truth is you shouldn't have had to hold your Dad's hand as he passed away this morning, you shouldn't have had to worry about making it in time. You shouldn't have had to share grief with your own mother today.
But you did.
You did and here we are and all I can think about is how we should be having brunch. I know the emotions that I currently find myself wrestling with are nothing but raindrops compared to the ocean of feelings you must be facing. I know that someone who was there for your whole life is gone and all the 'sorry for your loss's in the world can't change that or make it feel any differently.
I also know that I am here for you. That in this time of grief I will share your heart. That I will not shy away from the intensity of your emotions. I meant every word of every flowery sentiment written on every flowery Mother's Day card I've ever given you. The difference is this year those words are in bold, they are a messy scrawl of 'I love you's. This year those words leap off the paper and come to life. This year those words are not in a card but in my actions.
We should be having brunch but we are not. Life is so far from fair and perfect. But Mom, I want you to know that I will still celebrate your strength even as I mourn this loss. Not because I cannot see the pain, not because it will make the grief bearable but because you are worthy of celebration, especially in your darkest moments.
With my whole heart,
Mackenzie
It's Mother's Day.
I can't help but think we should be having brunch. There should be some new flowers in a vase, the fancy plates should be on the table, there should be a meal we offered to cook for you, but you insisted you wanted to cook for us, even on Mother's day. We should be having brunch.
The truth is you shouldn't have had to hold your Dad's hand as he passed away this morning, you shouldn't have had to worry about making it in time. You shouldn't have had to share grief with your own mother today.
But you did.
You did and here we are and all I can think about is how we should be having brunch. I know the emotions that I currently find myself wrestling with are nothing but raindrops compared to the ocean of feelings you must be facing. I know that someone who was there for your whole life is gone and all the 'sorry for your loss's in the world can't change that or make it feel any differently.
I also know that I am here for you. That in this time of grief I will share your heart. That I will not shy away from the intensity of your emotions. I meant every word of every flowery sentiment written on every flowery Mother's Day card I've ever given you. The difference is this year those words are in bold, they are a messy scrawl of 'I love you's. This year those words leap off the paper and come to life. This year those words are not in a card but in my actions.
We should be having brunch but we are not. Life is so far from fair and perfect. But Mom, I want you to know that I will still celebrate your strength even as I mourn this loss. Not because I cannot see the pain, not because it will make the grief bearable but because you are worthy of celebration, especially in your darkest moments.
With my whole heart,
Mackenzie
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