THIS IS NOT A POST ABOUT GRAD-MONITIONS

Hey Mom!

So it's 2:44am and I should be writing an essay about this weird fable I read about how mankind defeated the animal kingdom with yams and frying pans. But I am not. Because I don't waaaannaaaa. But I will. Eventually. After this. And a snack.

I'm so unbelievably close to being finished these courses and therefore my degree. While I am not going to return to grad-monitions because I thought I was going to die last time (if you haven't been scarred by the photos click here). However, I'm going to talk to you about a new development in my life as the end of my undergraduate life approaches.

Stress dreams. Now I've written about these before but basically I have two different types of stress dreams:

1.Trying to prevent the dumb bunny version of me from doing dumb bunny things. So basically there are two of me and regular me is trying to stop the other version from me from destroying both of us. Some examples include:
  • A basketball coach says "Don't wear blue shorts to practice or you will get cut from the team." 
    • Dumb bunny me: La la la let's buy all the blue shorts!!!! 
    • Regular me: What? No! Why?
  • A dentist says "We need to rip all your teeth out for no reason."
    • DB me: La la la sounds good to me!
    • R me: We need those for food! We love food!
It's even more stressful when all the dentist wants is to simply RIP THIS SCREW OUT OF MY FACE!
So this usually results in my waking up so frustrated I feel like my organs are shutting down BECAUSE WHY WON'T YOU JUST LISTEN TO ME, ME!

2. A strange turn of events. This usually requires one aspect of society falling apart and changing my existence forever.  This is where the definitely-not-a-grad-monition comes in: I've been having dreams where my education is rendered obsolete and I get recalled to high school. 
  • Most recently, this has been a discovery that none of my high school teachers were qualified to teach so I had to go back (or in one case they all turned out to be mad scientists that just wanted to watch the world burn).
  • So why is this stressful?  I'm so lost in all my classes, I'm using physics textbooks in my biology classes, the lockers have 18 digit combinations and sometimes I'm speaking English but everyone around me keeps telling me to speak English.
So why does this mean about the inner workings of my mind? I don't know! I think we all know that this blog is not intended for me to process my emotions (that's what my 400 half-filled journals are for). It's for procrastinating and a medium for me to make jokes about the micro-disasters that part of me wants to cry about but the other part of me has to admit.... it's kind of funny. 

IS THAT THE TIME?!?! Gotta go write an essay about yams.

That is all.

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