Imagination: The Best of Friends, The Worst of Enemies.
Hey Mom!
I wooed the crap out of a physician....
Well, more accurately I went to a walk-in clinic and the doctor was like who's your doctor? and then I was like no one and looked down at my shoes and the doctor was like here take this sheet and let someone take some of your life force [blood] and I'll be your doctor.
So there I was, living the dream. Until my doctor called me. That's right! My doctor called me! Now I know what you're thinking: Mack, open and honest communication is important! To that I would say, the following:
Hold on. Hold on! HOLD! ON! You don't have all the information yet (because I've structured this narrative poorly)! He told me "No news is good news." AND THEN HE CALLED ME.
Now at this point, I'm just trying to play it cool because I don't want to get blacklisted from the medical community so when they told me I had to wait 4 days to get an appointment I said "Sounds good, have a lovely afternoon!" but what I meant was "Please, I'm begging you, do not leave me alone with my imagination for 96 ENTIRE hours."
Ok so listen, listen, liiiisteeeeennnnn, my imagination is usually a pretty whimsical place that has brought me great stuff like Team Silver Bullet and Honest Resumes. However, much like a toddler left alone with a 24 pack of crayola markers, it can turn on a dime.
Now the logical part of my brain tried to assuage the Willy Wonka Tunnel of Terror part of my brain using the following well-thought out argument:
Logic: "Hey, we know it's going to be low iron."
Other: "DO WE THOUGH?!?"
Logic: "Yes, remember we went to donate blood the other day and the lady said 'Your iron is low'?"
Other: "So much has happened since then, we could've eaten a contaminated ice cube!"
Logic: "Yeah but what is plausible isn't necessarily probable.... probably it's low iron."
Other: "YOU DON'T KNOW THAT!"
Anyway, it was, in fact, low iron. No big deal. Glad I remained calm and level headed. Easy fix. It's fine. I'm fine.
That is all.
I wooed the crap out of a physician....
Well, more accurately I went to a walk-in clinic and the doctor was like who's your doctor? and then I was like no one and looked down at my shoes and the doctor was like here take this sheet and let someone take some of your life force [blood] and I'll be your doctor.
So there I was, living the dream. Until my doctor called me. That's right! My doctor called me! Now I know what you're thinking: Mack, open and honest communication is important! To that I would say, the following:
Hold on. Hold on! HOLD! ON! You don't have all the information yet (because I've structured this narrative poorly)! He told me "No news is good news." AND THEN HE CALLED ME.
Now at this point, I'm just trying to play it cool because I don't want to get blacklisted from the medical community so when they told me I had to wait 4 days to get an appointment I said "Sounds good, have a lovely afternoon!" but what I meant was "Please, I'm begging you, do not leave me alone with my imagination for 96 ENTIRE hours."
Ok so listen, listen, liiiisteeeeennnnn, my imagination is usually a pretty whimsical place that has brought me great stuff like Team Silver Bullet and Honest Resumes. However, much like a toddler left alone with a 24 pack of crayola markers, it can turn on a dime.
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| I know I post this picture a lot but I don't think anything has captured my creative energy as perfectly as this..... |
Now the logical part of my brain tried to assuage the Willy Wonka Tunnel of Terror part of my brain using the following well-thought out argument:
Logic: "Hey, we know it's going to be low iron."
Other: "DO WE THOUGH?!?"
Logic: "Yes, remember we went to donate blood the other day and the lady said 'Your iron is low'?"
Other: "So much has happened since then, we could've eaten a contaminated ice cube!"
Logic: "Yeah but what is plausible isn't necessarily probable.... probably it's low iron."
Other: "YOU DON'T KNOW THAT!"
Anyway, it was, in fact, low iron. No big deal. Glad I remained calm and level headed. Easy fix. It's fine. I'm fine.
That is all.
 |
| My imagination and I: The best of friends, the worst of enemies. |
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