Branching out is for trees...
Hey Mom!
So recently I realized that I've been living here for two years and should probably branch out and try new things. Why? Mostly because I've watched quite a few Julia Roberts films at my roommate's behest and that's how she usually sorts herself out. As fate would have it, my resolve was immediately tested when I was invited to a drop-in boxing class.. in the park..during peak foot traffic hours.
Now in case you need a visual, I would describe my boxing style as if you took someone who was drowning and put them on dry land, just a flurry of panicked limbs. You guys, I flailed the ol' goblin body around in PUBLIC VIEW. I should be charged with something... indecency probably.
I am also definitely the worst person in the class. Now I know what you're thinking Mack, how could you possibly know that? I would tell you if you let me get a word in edgewise, Julshua! We were doing stairs and at one point I looked up mid-lunge and saw every other person was standing around at the top of the stairs. They looked so small... so far away.
So let's recap shall we:
That is all.
So recently I realized that I've been living here for two years and should probably branch out and try new things. Why? Mostly because I've watched quite a few Julia Roberts films at my roommate's behest and that's how she usually sorts herself out. As fate would have it, my resolve was immediately tested when I was invited to a drop-in boxing class.. in the park..during peak foot traffic hours.
Now in case you need a visual, I would describe my boxing style as if you took someone who was drowning and put them on dry land, just a flurry of panicked limbs. You guys, I flailed the ol' goblin body around in PUBLIC VIEW. I should be charged with something... indecency probably.
I am also definitely the worst person in the class. Now I know what you're thinking Mack, how could you possibly know that? I would tell you if you let me get a word in edgewise, Julshua! We were doing stairs and at one point I looked up mid-lunge and saw every other person was standing around at the top of the stairs. They looked so small... so far away.
So let's recap shall we:
- Nobody can stand beside me because I am unable to rein in my orangutan arms once I loose them upon the world. Imagine recoiling a wet noodle once you've launched it from a tee shirt gun... impossible!
- The public has be marred by the sight of my yogurt tube body. It's only a matter of time before I get banned from the park itself.
- I am now holding up the class as I have 2 thirds of the stairs left to go and everyone is casually watching me struggle to lunge.
- I haven't punched myself in the face yet but I came reeeealll close with an uppercut today... I fear it's only a matter of time.
So what have we learned? Branching out is for trees.
That is all.
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| This was the last peaceful moment before I ruined the park forever..... |
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