Tell me about yourself.
Hey Mom!
So I was sending out emails at 2am this morning (as one does) and one such email needed to include a paragraph about myself. OK BUT WHY THOUGH?!?
Here's the thing, I could write 17 different paragraphs about who I am as a living, breathing, complex, multicellular organism and they could all be true! Examples are forthcoming (don't worry I didn't do seventeen paragraphs... I could though... totally could):
The Professional Paragraph:
To Whom it May Concern,
My name is Mackenzie and I am a recent university graduate. Furthermore, my use of commas and transition words is intended to demonstrate my level of education. Wait for it; that was a semi-colon. I am being very serious to demonstrate to you that I can pretend to take myself seriously. Allow me to list only my hobbies that sound like things adults should spend their time on and casually include my accolades for you.
The Fun Paragraph:
Greetings Human!
My name is Mackenzie and currently I am not working in my field. It's cool though because I'm following my heart and these are the things my heart likes to do: make weird stuff for the internet and also crafts. My tone is pretty light here and I hope this makes you laugh.
The Honest Paragraph:
Dear Human,
Sometimes I forget to wear deodorant. Here is a detailed explanation of the life events that have deeply affected me. Existential ramblings. So 12 pages later, this is who I am. This is my story.
The Puns Paragraph:
Puns, puns, puns, puns, puns, puns, puns, puns, puns, puns, puns, puns, puns, puns, puns, puns, puns. You think I'm going to stop right? Wrong! Puns, puns, puns, puns, puns, puns, puns, puns, puns, puns, puns, puns...... aaand you've stopped reading this because you've died due to ap-pun-dicitis.
In case you are wondering I went with the fun paragraph. I'll let you know in 30 days or less how that works out so you can live your life accordingly.
That is all.
So I was sending out emails at 2am this morning (as one does) and one such email needed to include a paragraph about myself. OK BUT WHY THOUGH?!?
Here's the thing, I could write 17 different paragraphs about who I am as a living, breathing, complex, multicellular organism and they could all be true! Examples are forthcoming (don't worry I didn't do seventeen paragraphs... I could though... totally could):
The Professional Paragraph:
To Whom it May Concern,
My name is Mackenzie and I am a recent university graduate. Furthermore, my use of commas and transition words is intended to demonstrate my level of education. Wait for it; that was a semi-colon. I am being very serious to demonstrate to you that I can pretend to take myself seriously. Allow me to list only my hobbies that sound like things adults should spend their time on and casually include my accolades for you.
 |
| Even superheroes need to know how to write a professional cover letter. |
Greetings Human!
My name is Mackenzie and currently I am not working in my field. It's cool though because I'm following my heart and these are the things my heart likes to do: make weird stuff for the internet and also crafts. My tone is pretty light here and I hope this makes you laugh.
 |
| This is just me, playing a Snapchat prank on my friends... because I'm so fun and whimsical like that. |
The Honest Paragraph:
Dear Human,
Sometimes I forget to wear deodorant. Here is a detailed explanation of the life events that have deeply affected me. Existential ramblings. So 12 pages later, this is who I am. This is my story.
 |
| Honesty isn't always pretty.... |
The Puns Paragraph:
Puns, puns, puns, puns, puns, puns, puns, puns, puns, puns, puns, puns, puns, puns, puns, puns, puns. You think I'm going to stop right? Wrong! Puns, puns, puns, puns, puns, puns, puns, puns, puns, puns, puns, puns...... aaand you've stopped reading this because you've died due to ap-pun-dicitis.
 |
| You could call it a pun-cho. |
In case you are wondering I went with the fun paragraph. I'll let you know in 30 days or less how that works out so you can live your life accordingly.
That is all.
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