So this university gig... not bad
Hey Mom!
So... university... it's uh something else.... ITS FREAKING AWESOME. I love going to class everyday (adjusts glasses and pocket protecter). I used a lab with a real fume hood, all the chemicals were new AND I had my own hot plate (that worked and didn't spark when you plugged it in).... yeah I don't miss Olds College.
Top Ten Ways to Freak Out Your Roommate
I would never actually do this to my roommate for two reasons:
1. If they are cool with it they are obviously insane (imagine if your roommate picked up your imaginary cat and started petting it)
2. What if you got the best roommate ever and then they freaked out and left and you got stuck with someone as crazy as you pretended to be.
Annnnnnd we're moving on.
In my first week of university I literally came face to face with the enemy, a representative from one of the textbook companies came to our class, not only did I develop an instant dislike of this woman but she only made it worse. Examples are forthcoming:
Example 1:
"People who buy this extra software program with your textbook do 20% better than they would have without it"
WOW! Why don't you crack open that textbook and learn about the scientific method. How do you even support such an outrageous claim. You are telling me if someone makes cue cards, reads the textbook, goes to every class and has a tutor they would still do 20% better because you made a computer game to help people study? Get over yourself.
Example 2:
"It's very important you buy your textbook new instead of used because we donate 75 cents from each book to a charity"
First of all, 75 whole cents!?!? That's enough money to... buy some stale candy from a gas station. Secondly you want ME to spend at least $60 more dollars on a new textbook so YOU can donate 75 cents. Tell you what I will but my textbook used and donate a dollar to charity. Trying to guilt trip university students just so you can make more money, you should be ashamed of yourself.
I wanted to walk out in protest but I was sitting in a lecture hall where the rows are really close together and so I'd have to shimmy past ten people and it would reduce the dramatic quality of my exit.
So as you may have noticed I have not reposted any of my old blog or the rest of my top tens or any pieces of writing (you are welcome for the last one). It is now on my someday list... so don't hold your breath.
That is all.
So... university... it's uh something else.... ITS FREAKING AWESOME. I love going to class everyday (adjusts glasses and pocket protecter). I used a lab with a real fume hood, all the chemicals were new AND I had my own hot plate (that worked and didn't spark when you plugged it in).... yeah I don't miss Olds College.
Top Ten Ways to Freak Out Your Roommate
- When you first meet your roommate say "So tell me about your medical history?"
- Buy 3 or 4 of the same shirt and wear one everyday
- Put your shampoo into a condiment bottle (ex. mustard)
- Ya Mama... seriously it'd be weird if you brought her to live with you on campus
- Ask them to keep track of how many sheets of toilet paper they use so you can split the cost fairly.
- Take care of an imaginary cat, apologize for all the cat hair and leave a food dish out (empty it when you roomie is out for maximum effect)
- Burst into fits of hysterical laughter while by yourself
- On your side of the cupboard leave a hammer, a cutting board and a can of spam
- Write "I'm watching you" on the bathroom mirror with something fairly translucent (lip balm works really well) so that it's not noticeable right away.
- Sleep in the shower and then when your roomies gets up to use the bathroom in the middle of the night and you are standing there like a flipping vampire (if you have a tuxedo and a cape you should wear that instead of your jammies) just casually say "What are you doing in my room?"
I would never actually do this to my roommate for two reasons:
1. If they are cool with it they are obviously insane (imagine if your roommate picked up your imaginary cat and started petting it)
2. What if you got the best roommate ever and then they freaked out and left and you got stuck with someone as crazy as you pretended to be.
Annnnnnd we're moving on.
In my first week of university I literally came face to face with the enemy, a representative from one of the textbook companies came to our class, not only did I develop an instant dislike of this woman but she only made it worse. Examples are forthcoming:
Example 1:
"People who buy this extra software program with your textbook do 20% better than they would have without it"
WOW! Why don't you crack open that textbook and learn about the scientific method. How do you even support such an outrageous claim. You are telling me if someone makes cue cards, reads the textbook, goes to every class and has a tutor they would still do 20% better because you made a computer game to help people study? Get over yourself.
Example 2:
"It's very important you buy your textbook new instead of used because we donate 75 cents from each book to a charity"
First of all, 75 whole cents!?!? That's enough money to... buy some stale candy from a gas station. Secondly you want ME to spend at least $60 more dollars on a new textbook so YOU can donate 75 cents. Tell you what I will but my textbook used and donate a dollar to charity. Trying to guilt trip university students just so you can make more money, you should be ashamed of yourself.
I wanted to walk out in protest but I was sitting in a lecture hall where the rows are really close together and so I'd have to shimmy past ten people and it would reduce the dramatic quality of my exit.
So as you may have noticed I have not reposted any of my old blog or the rest of my top tens or any pieces of writing (you are welcome for the last one). It is now on my someday list... so don't hold your breath.
That is all.
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