The Eye of the Tiger
Hey Mom!
So you know when someone tells you about something stupid they did and you find yourself thinking How could anyone be THAT dumb? Well prepare yourself.
So it's finals time for high school students which means I am tutoring for 7-10 hours a day. For the most part this is a good thing. However, it also means I say things like "Don't forget the molar ratio." or "What SI units do we use here?" on repeat. For days.
Aaaaaaaanyway, the actual relevant part of this story is that I am sitting, hunched over textbooks for extended periods of time which means by the end of the day my back hurts. So yesterday when I finished work I decided to throw on some tiger balm. If you aren't familiar with tiger balm just imagine A535 except instead of being infused with wintergreen it's drenched in all the feral rage of an apex predator. So because this stuff is pretty potent, I made ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN that I washed my hands.
So I go to bed. I rub my eyes. I stretch out. I turn off my light and begin to settle into restful sleep. Suddenly it's like there is a menthol banshee rolling around in my eye sockets. I now have a complete understanding of the phrase 'blinding pain'. But how? My hands are clean. Have I been poisoned? Will I become Daredevil and spend my life fighting crime? So many questions.
At this point it is after midnight and I am stumbling around my apartment. Now, I would like to tell you that my apartment was clean, I would like to tell you that I didn't trip over a fan and a hammock that were in the hallway, but I can't... because that would be lying.
So I find the bathroom and remove the antagonist from my ocular components. As I am walking back to my room I rub the back of my neck (something I do subconsciously all the time)... yep. I rubbed tiger balm into my own eyes. Also while I regained the use of my eyes I am still mildly disappointed I did not develop superpowers.
That is all.
So you know when someone tells you about something stupid they did and you find yourself thinking How could anyone be THAT dumb? Well prepare yourself.
So it's finals time for high school students which means I am tutoring for 7-10 hours a day. For the most part this is a good thing. However, it also means I say things like "Don't forget the molar ratio." or "What SI units do we use here?" on repeat. For days.
Aaaaaaaanyway, the actual relevant part of this story is that I am sitting, hunched over textbooks for extended periods of time which means by the end of the day my back hurts. So yesterday when I finished work I decided to throw on some tiger balm. If you aren't familiar with tiger balm just imagine A535 except instead of being infused with wintergreen it's drenched in all the feral rage of an apex predator. So because this stuff is pretty potent, I made ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN that I washed my hands.
So I go to bed. I rub my eyes. I stretch out. I turn off my light and begin to settle into restful sleep. Suddenly it's like there is a menthol banshee rolling around in my eye sockets. I now have a complete understanding of the phrase 'blinding pain'. But how? My hands are clean. Have I been poisoned? Will I become Daredevil and spend my life fighting crime? So many questions.
At this point it is after midnight and I am stumbling around my apartment. Now, I would like to tell you that my apartment was clean, I would like to tell you that I didn't trip over a fan and a hammock that were in the hallway, but I can't... because that would be lying.
So I find the bathroom and remove the antagonist from my ocular components. As I am walking back to my room I rub the back of my neck (something I do subconsciously all the time)... yep. I rubbed tiger balm into my own eyes. Also while I regained the use of my eyes I am still mildly disappointed I did not develop superpowers.
That is all.
Comments
Post a Comment