The One.
Hey Mom!
Have you ever just known that something was it? Like walking into a store and knowing a shirt was going to be a great fit before you even tried it on (and by "fit" I mean fit into my budget because let's be honest, who cares about anything else). Well this, this post is the one. The one where I go too far and say too much. Here's the one. It's about bras. Now if you are a male or just prefer to free-boob it you might want to skip over this one but, I figure if you've read this blog before you've already read about my multiple brushes with food-poisoning so the breast is pretty mild (Did you SEE what I did there?!? Because the post is about chest nuggets).
I got fitted for a bra recently. Now, whenever someone had suggested it in the past I imagined some sort of large, medieval looking clamp so my response was usually "Nah, I'll just eyeball it." When the woman at the store asked me if the lady buckets I was trying on fit and I said no, you can imagine the horror that began spill out of my soul (by "horror" I mean sweat and by "soul" I mean armpits). She's all casual about sizing me and I'm terrified that I'm going to be left with two deflated mammary balloons where my chest had been. In reality, it was more like if Scorpion from mortal combat used a measuring tape and opted for an awkward hug instead of harpooning you through the chest (which, if I'm honest, I would prefer the harpoon due to the aforementioned horror that had dampened my shirt).
As it turns out, I have been wearing the wrong size of bra for all my adult life and I wasn't just a little bit off I was 4 inches and two cup sizes off. That's not even like buying pants 4 sizes too big, it's more like buying a shirt for hedgehogs and then being confused as to why a shirt that clearly was not made for you is cutting off circulation to everything and hurts your organs.
Anyway I know I said I would post about my unapologetic love for minecraft and I will or at least I think I will? School starts up again next week and if I'm honest (and I'm nothing if not honest) all my hopes and plans fall from a figurative 12 story building once the semester starts.
That is all.
Have you ever just known that something was it? Like walking into a store and knowing a shirt was going to be a great fit before you even tried it on (and by "fit" I mean fit into my budget because let's be honest, who cares about anything else). Well this, this post is the one. The one where I go too far and say too much. Here's the one. It's about bras. Now if you are a male or just prefer to free-boob it you might want to skip over this one but, I figure if you've read this blog before you've already read about my multiple brushes with food-poisoning so the breast is pretty mild (Did you SEE what I did there?!? Because the post is about chest nuggets).
I got fitted for a bra recently. Now, whenever someone had suggested it in the past I imagined some sort of large, medieval looking clamp so my response was usually "Nah, I'll just eyeball it." When the woman at the store asked me if the lady buckets I was trying on fit and I said no, you can imagine the horror that began spill out of my soul (by "horror" I mean sweat and by "soul" I mean armpits). She's all casual about sizing me and I'm terrified that I'm going to be left with two deflated mammary balloons where my chest had been. In reality, it was more like if Scorpion from mortal combat used a measuring tape and opted for an awkward hug instead of harpooning you through the chest (which, if I'm honest, I would prefer the harpoon due to the aforementioned horror that had dampened my shirt).
As it turns out, I have been wearing the wrong size of bra for all my adult life and I wasn't just a little bit off I was 4 inches and two cup sizes off. That's not even like buying pants 4 sizes too big, it's more like buying a shirt for hedgehogs and then being confused as to why a shirt that clearly was not made for you is cutting off circulation to everything and hurts your organs.
Anyway I know I said I would post about my unapologetic love for minecraft and I will or at least I think I will? School starts up again next week and if I'm honest (and I'm nothing if not honest) all my hopes and plans fall from a figurative 12 story building once the semester starts.
That is all.
Comments
Post a Comment