Your Inner Weirdness
Hey Mom!
Is it as awkward for you as it is for me when I try to follow up an emotional blog post with the ramblings of a semi-sane individual? Yeah I thought so, lets just get all the awkward out of the way by observing a long uncomfortable silence......
....Ok now we can pursue new kinds of awkward!!!! So in keeping with the theme of authenticity I have come up with a top ten list of weird things I think about:
1. I really REALLY want to write "Who is nasty enough to bring a sharpie into a public bathroom" on the wall of a bathroom stall... Why? I would like to witness the ensuing chaos as vandals everywhere attempt to validate themselves while pointing how hypocritical that statement is.
2. Sometimes I give up on a story because I don't want anything bad to happen to my characters... which basically means I have imaginary friends
3. Sometimes when I'm talking to people I try to picture what kind of mythical creature they would be... I'd like to say I'm an elf but we all know I'm a hobbit. I eat 8 meals a days, I have disproportionately large feet and lets just say the reason I wear socks to the beach is not because I have sensitive skin.
4. Ya Mama... this is my first impulse response to everything. Fortunately, most of the time it stays in my head and I just allow awkward silence to permeate the room while I think of something intelligent to say.
5. I think about shaving my head at least 6 times a week... I don't think I would ever actually do it because I have a magnificent mane of nasty orange, labradoodle hair but whenever I get a brush or hair elastic stuck in it, I want to throw in the towel and go bald and beautiful... unless my head is lumpy then I'll just be bald and sad.
6. I worry about a major scientific discovery that will make my degree useless... granted it would have to be a pretty significant discovery to challenge all the underpinnings of science, but look what happened when they discovered the earth was spherical. The fact that four years of my life could be rendered completely useless in an instant is about a comforting as a snuggie made from cacti.
7. When I walk past trees I instantly evaluate their climbability... Why? Because my idea of fun hasn't changed since I turned ten.
8. I wish quests were real... imagine how much more interesting life would be if while you were at the grocery store someone showed up with a travel cloak and said "We have to go in search of a dragon.". Plus it would also allow me to pursue my dream job as a bard.
9. My dream job is to become a bard. I have all the necessary skills but there's just no market for it.
10. The smell of banana oil instantly reminds me of Lord of the Flies... I don't know why, the book didn't smell like banana oil, the movie had no tanning oil in it... but when I get a whiff of the stuff all I can think about is a pig's head on a stick.
Here's the part of the show where I encourage you to embrace your inner weirdness and be yourself! Because we are all flipping weird some of us just make more of an effort to be boring.
That is all.
Is it as awkward for you as it is for me when I try to follow up an emotional blog post with the ramblings of a semi-sane individual? Yeah I thought so, lets just get all the awkward out of the way by observing a long uncomfortable silence......
....Ok now we can pursue new kinds of awkward!!!! So in keeping with the theme of authenticity I have come up with a top ten list of weird things I think about:
1. I really REALLY want to write "Who is nasty enough to bring a sharpie into a public bathroom" on the wall of a bathroom stall... Why? I would like to witness the ensuing chaos as vandals everywhere attempt to validate themselves while pointing how hypocritical that statement is.
2. Sometimes I give up on a story because I don't want anything bad to happen to my characters... which basically means I have imaginary friends
3. Sometimes when I'm talking to people I try to picture what kind of mythical creature they would be... I'd like to say I'm an elf but we all know I'm a hobbit. I eat 8 meals a days, I have disproportionately large feet and lets just say the reason I wear socks to the beach is not because I have sensitive skin.
4. Ya Mama... this is my first impulse response to everything. Fortunately, most of the time it stays in my head and I just allow awkward silence to permeate the room while I think of something intelligent to say.
5. I think about shaving my head at least 6 times a week... I don't think I would ever actually do it because I have a magnificent mane of nasty orange, labradoodle hair but whenever I get a brush or hair elastic stuck in it, I want to throw in the towel and go bald and beautiful... unless my head is lumpy then I'll just be bald and sad.
6. I worry about a major scientific discovery that will make my degree useless... granted it would have to be a pretty significant discovery to challenge all the underpinnings of science, but look what happened when they discovered the earth was spherical. The fact that four years of my life could be rendered completely useless in an instant is about a comforting as a snuggie made from cacti.
7. When I walk past trees I instantly evaluate their climbability... Why? Because my idea of fun hasn't changed since I turned ten.
8. I wish quests were real... imagine how much more interesting life would be if while you were at the grocery store someone showed up with a travel cloak and said "We have to go in search of a dragon.". Plus it would also allow me to pursue my dream job as a bard.
9. My dream job is to become a bard. I have all the necessary skills but there's just no market for it.
10. The smell of banana oil instantly reminds me of Lord of the Flies... I don't know why, the book didn't smell like banana oil, the movie had no tanning oil in it... but when I get a whiff of the stuff all I can think about is a pig's head on a stick.
Here's the part of the show where I encourage you to embrace your inner weirdness and be yourself! Because we are all flipping weird some of us just make more of an effort to be boring.
That is all.
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