Poo-Pourri: A Memo
Hey Mom!
So we have an employee bathroom at work which someone has mercifully stocked with Poo-Pourri. Personally, I avoid using the bathroom while I'm working. I know what you're thinking Oh, you are one of those people that won't use public bathrooms aren't you? No. I have no problem dropping a deuce in a public bathroom because that is what bathrooms are for... but using the bathroom throws off my momentum.
Anyway, recently someone has moved the Poo-Pourri to a more prominent spot in the bathroom in what I can only assume is some sort of passive aggressive power move.
This is very exciting for so many reasons. But first and foremost is the idea of a Poo-Pourri memo getting circulated around the office.
In the event that I am tasked with constructing such a memo (very unlikely but dreams come true every day), I have come up with a rough draft so that my time to shine will be as brilliant as all the suns in the universe:
Hello Everyone,
Recently there have been a series of heinous dumps taken in the employee washrooms. Management understands that there are moments when a bowel movement at work is unavoidable and as such encourages healthy colon practices. However, to ensure a safe work environment we have outfitted the bathrooms with Poo-Pourri, a product designed to eliminate unpleasant smells resulting from particularly pungent excretions. Please note that it is standard office practice to use Poo-Pourri in the event of rectal discharge as a courtesy to your coworkers.
Thank you for your consideration in this matter.
Management.
That is all.
So we have an employee bathroom at work which someone has mercifully stocked with Poo-Pourri. Personally, I avoid using the bathroom while I'm working. I know what you're thinking Oh, you are one of those people that won't use public bathrooms aren't you? No. I have no problem dropping a deuce in a public bathroom because that is what bathrooms are for... but using the bathroom throws off my momentum.
Anyway, recently someone has moved the Poo-Pourri to a more prominent spot in the bathroom in what I can only assume is some sort of passive aggressive power move.
This is very exciting for so many reasons. But first and foremost is the idea of a Poo-Pourri memo getting circulated around the office.
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| SUPER SAIYAN DUMPING FACE |
In the event that I am tasked with constructing such a memo (very unlikely but dreams come true every day), I have come up with a rough draft so that my time to shine will be as brilliant as all the suns in the universe:
Hello Everyone,
Recently there have been a series of heinous dumps taken in the employee washrooms. Management understands that there are moments when a bowel movement at work is unavoidable and as such encourages healthy colon practices. However, to ensure a safe work environment we have outfitted the bathrooms with Poo-Pourri, a product designed to eliminate unpleasant smells resulting from particularly pungent excretions. Please note that it is standard office practice to use Poo-Pourri in the event of rectal discharge as a courtesy to your coworkers.
Thank you for your consideration in this matter.
Management.
That is all.
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