We've now discussed every bodily function on the blog.... go team!
Hey Mom!
So the scariest thing this Halloween was surprisingly not the haunted houses, costumes or terrifying movies. I actually traumatized myself this year. Now Mom, I know this blog is generally directed at you but you might actually want to skip this one.
Ok... you had your chance!
I DROPPED MY MENSTRUAL CUP IN THE TOILET!
Now I know what you're thinking Mack, seriously?!? Period talk? Gross. YES IT IS! YOU HAVEN'T LET ME FINISH TELLING MY STORY, LYLE!
So anyway, I drop the cup into the toilet.
At this point, I have resigned myself to the fact that this cup is garbage now. No amount of sanitization will restore my peace of mind. So I decide to try to use the toilet brush to scoop it out.
IT ROLLS BACKWARD.
So now I can't see it. It's gone. I repeat: THE RED OCTOBER IS MIA!
I am not going to lie to you, I stood there for 10 solid minutes seriously considering whether to flush it down the toilet or not. On one hand, the whole situation is... dare I say? Icky. On the other hand, there is no way that thing is going to flush without causing serious plumbing issues or eventually killing a sea turtle. So what am I supposed to do?
I still have no idea what I should've done but here is what I did do:
I stuck my arm into what I am going to continue to tell myself was nature's cherry Kool-Aid and retrieved the aforementioned menstrual cup.
Now after an arduous process involving scalding hot water and a container and a half of hand sanitizer all I can tell you is that sometimes being an adult is cool and glamorous like driving a car or drinking coffee whenever you want. BUT (and it is a big but), this *shudder* this was not one of those times.
That is all.
So the scariest thing this Halloween was surprisingly not the haunted houses, costumes or terrifying movies. I actually traumatized myself this year. Now Mom, I know this blog is generally directed at you but you might actually want to skip this one.
Ok... you had your chance!
I DROPPED MY MENSTRUAL CUP IN THE TOILET!
 |
| This is a menstrual cup. It was red when I bought it. Calm down. |
So anyway, I drop the cup into the toilet.
At this point, I have resigned myself to the fact that this cup is garbage now. No amount of sanitization will restore my peace of mind. So I decide to try to use the toilet brush to scoop it out.
IT ROLLS BACKWARD.
So now I can't see it. It's gone. I repeat: THE RED OCTOBER IS MIA!
I am not going to lie to you, I stood there for 10 solid minutes seriously considering whether to flush it down the toilet or not. On one hand, the whole situation is... dare I say? Icky. On the other hand, there is no way that thing is going to flush without causing serious plumbing issues or eventually killing a sea turtle. So what am I supposed to do?
I still have no idea what I should've done but here is what I did do:
I stuck my arm into what I am going to continue to tell myself was nature's cherry Kool-Aid and retrieved the aforementioned menstrual cup.
Now after an arduous process involving scalding hot water and a container and a half of hand sanitizer all I can tell you is that sometimes being an adult is cool and glamorous like driving a car or drinking coffee whenever you want. BUT (and it is a big but), this *shudder* this was not one of those times.
That is all.
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