Hey Mom!

Hey Mom! So I've found a compelling reason to shave my legs. Now before anyone gets upset I would like to state the following: Calm your nuggets, Barbara . Shave your legs. Don't shave your legs. I don't care what you do with your haunches.  As you know, I'm pretty ambivalent when it comes to leg-shaving. I shave my legs when I go clothing shopping because it makes the process more aerodynamic. I shave my legs when I want to listen to music but also pretend like I'm being productive. I also don't shave my legs more than 2-3 times a year because it's not really a priority in my life. Now, I know what you're thinking: Hey Tarantula Legs, none of those sound like compelling reasons to shave. First of all, rude! Secondly, I'm getting to that, Duncan, let me craft my narrative! Today was my first workout in awhile. So I decided (was forced to by the incompetent flesh sacks that are my lungs) to keep it short. Having recently come to possess some

Hey Mom! So I thought with all the casket talk last week, I would lighten the mood with a post about Christmas baking. I made my foray into the world of Christmas baking last year and I actually found myself looking forward to it this year. As it turns out it is very difficult to mess up baking which makes it exactly within my wheel house... or so I thought. DUH DUH DAHHHHHHHH <-- Please imagine Belt from The Croods during this part, would have been easier if I had told you before? Yes. Am I going to change because I'm still actively writing this post? Absolutely not. So there I am, frantically stirring caramels. The seething mass of brown delight -hmm... that didn't really denote the gustatory euphoria I was hoping but we're moving on- is so close to being ready. Much like a surfer, I ride the wave, precariously balanced between perfection and utter destruction. That is until the candy thermometer flipped and I was knocked off my proverbial surf board and into t

Hey Mom! So I was googling the price of a casket the other day. Now I know what you're thinking: Mack, even for you that's a bit morbid. Listen, liiiisten, liiiiistennnnn: Someone told me how expensive funerals are and I absolutely could not believe it. Who do they think we are? Some kind of pharaoh?! So what other recourse did I have? I had to turn to the internet to substantiate such a wild claim. So anyway, there I am, on the google, when I came across CasketDepot.ca That's right ladies and gentlemen, there is a one stop shop for all your casket needs (now accepting PayPal and Air Miles). I'm not entirely sure why I find shopping for a casket in the comfort of my own home so wholly unsettling. But what other option do we have? Imagine trying to shop for a casket with a salesperson hovering around you. "Can I help you with anything?" "No thank you, you gaunt gatekeeper of after-life boxes! Stay away from me--" *squints at gloss fini