Things I learned this week: Don't do drugs or open packages with your teeth.

Hey Mom!

Don't worry I didn't actually do drugs. I just pretended to do drugs by accident.  Want me to elaborate? Ok here we go!  I was making chips yesterday (I like white potatoes because they slice really thin, but in terms of taste I like red potatoes but baking potatoes cook evenly) and I got parched because I was eating the chips as soon as they came out of the microwave (yes the microwave, I got a contraption for Christmas).  So I thought I am going to treat myself to crystal light (cherry pomegranate flavour in case you are wondering).  My hands were a little slick with the blood of a legion of potatoes so I decided to use my teeth to open the packet.  Yes I know you shouldn't use your teeth for stuff like that believe me I spent years with braces and then a retainer. But occasionally you just need some dental strength, so I've developed a system!

*checkerboard transition, a bright flash shoots across the screen leaving an Apple Chancery font in it's wake*

Mackenzie's Flow Chart for Dental Leverage
Now I do realize this is the worst flow chart of all time but guess what I make up for it by the amount of ingenuity involved with making a flow chart in a word document… You are welcome!
So I went through the aforementioned flowchart and came to the conclusion that using my teeth was the  acceptable protocol.  So I tear open the crystal light package and as I do so I snort half the package…. LITERALLY. Moral of the story if you snort cherry pomegranate crystal light you will have hot pink snot for three days.  Don't accidentally pretend to do drugs kids… not even once.

That is all,

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