Betrayal
Hey Mom!
So ever since I made my Inked video, I've been throwing around the word betrayal a lot... as in quadruple the recommended dosage. The truth is I've been betrayed and as much as I wish I could say this is a dramatization for the purpose of comedy, there is absolutely NOTHING funny about this:
Top Ten Things That Have Betrayed Me:
1. Coffee: Basically I tripped down the stairs and then my coffee laughed in my face except coffee can't laugh so it just vomited lava humiliation into my face... and ruined the carpet. BETRAYAL!
See my previous post for more details.
2. Cleaning Supplies: I was promised stain removal, I still only have stain... BETRAYAL!
3. Cribbage: I was on a killer hot streak and needed 3 points to win the game and then I had no points in my crib.... BETRAYAL!
4. Ya Mama: She yelled "19" right before I looked at my crib... BETRAYAL!
5. Reality: I am supposed to be in love, having the time of my life and dancing through life. Instead I am single, cranky and tripping down the stairs. BETRAYAL!
6. The Chiropractor: So when I fell down the stairs I threw my shoulder and neck out. Relax, he said it'll be fine he said.. and then he snapped my shoulder blade back into place and I threw up in my mouth. BETRAYAL!
7. My sister's childhood: More specifically the elephant costume I spent an hour stretching so I could fit into it. I woke up this morning to find both my shoulders bruised from trying to squeeze into a costume I rescued from certain destruction. BETRAYAL!
8. Lemon Chamomile Tea: I like lemon, I like chamomile but together it tasted like pine needles and dish soap. I trusted you Lipton. BETRAYAL!
9. Perogies: I was microwaving perogies for lunch. Ate half of one. Perfect, a delicious whirlwind of potato and fulfilled dreams. The second half of the SAME perogy exploded with malicious intent and burned the roof of my mouth so bad it blistered. I was lulled into a false sense of security so my lunch could maim me. BETRAYAL!
10. The Microwave: Guilty by association. The microwave aligned itself with the perogy and therefore is a party to the BETRAYAL!
Now I know what you are thinking... Mackenzie it sounds like you are the problem here not the inanimate objects you are blaming. To that I would say "Well isn't that convenient..." Honestly, some people will look for any excuse to blame someone else. You should be ashamed.
That is all.
So ever since I made my Inked video, I've been throwing around the word betrayal a lot... as in quadruple the recommended dosage. The truth is I've been betrayed and as much as I wish I could say this is a dramatization for the purpose of comedy, there is absolutely NOTHING funny about this:
Top Ten Things That Have Betrayed Me:
1. Coffee: Basically I tripped down the stairs and then my coffee laughed in my face except coffee can't laugh so it just vomited lava humiliation into my face... and ruined the carpet. BETRAYAL!
See my previous post for more details.
2. Cleaning Supplies: I was promised stain removal, I still only have stain... BETRAYAL!
3. Cribbage: I was on a killer hot streak and needed 3 points to win the game and then I had no points in my crib.... BETRAYAL!
4. Ya Mama: She yelled "19" right before I looked at my crib... BETRAYAL!
5. Reality: I am supposed to be in love, having the time of my life and dancing through life. Instead I am single, cranky and tripping down the stairs. BETRAYAL!
6. The Chiropractor: So when I fell down the stairs I threw my shoulder and neck out. Relax, he said it'll be fine he said.. and then he snapped my shoulder blade back into place and I threw up in my mouth. BETRAYAL!
7. My sister's childhood: More specifically the elephant costume I spent an hour stretching so I could fit into it. I woke up this morning to find both my shoulders bruised from trying to squeeze into a costume I rescued from certain destruction. BETRAYAL!
8. Lemon Chamomile Tea: I like lemon, I like chamomile but together it tasted like pine needles and dish soap. I trusted you Lipton. BETRAYAL!
9. Perogies: I was microwaving perogies for lunch. Ate half of one. Perfect, a delicious whirlwind of potato and fulfilled dreams. The second half of the SAME perogy exploded with malicious intent and burned the roof of my mouth so bad it blistered. I was lulled into a false sense of security so my lunch could maim me. BETRAYAL!
10. The Microwave: Guilty by association. The microwave aligned itself with the perogy and therefore is a party to the BETRAYAL!
Now I know what you are thinking... Mackenzie it sounds like you are the problem here not the inanimate objects you are blaming. To that I would say "Well isn't that convenient..." Honestly, some people will look for any excuse to blame someone else. You should be ashamed.
That is all.
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