Hey Mom!

Hey Mom! So after taking some time  off for a back injury I have recently starting hitting the gym again.  Firstly let me just say I am typing this laying down because it hurts to sit up.  In fact it hurts to lift, extend, or  otherwise move my arms at all.  In a previous video blog ( Weighty Words)  I apologized to humanity for being a gym snob. Oh how far the mighty have fallen!  From my pedestal I gazed down upon mere mortals with their shape-ups and shake weights, laughing at their failing determination and flickering hope.  Now I lie in humble solitude, wishing only that the soreness in mine bones might ease with the sun's setting. Basically, what I am saying is "I'm a fool and I get it"  this is the most time I've taken off working out since I was 15 which basically means the last time I tried to get in shape I was young with relentless energy and no other obligations (I thought school was hard but then I went to university... haha oh high school).  Now

Hey Mom! So you may have noticed a new tab which leads you to my video blogs which I have been putting out every day (I'm not promising to put one out every day because as soon as I do, disaster will strike and the internet will break). Aaaaaaaand we are moving on... much like our wardrobe when I was six, my sister has decided to replicate my blog in the form of a response so: Step 1: Read  Your Inner Weirdness  from my blog Step 2: Read  My Inner Weirdness  from her blog Step 3: Proceed skimming the rest of this post Here is what I think about the things Taylor thinks about the weird things I think about: 1. I would never ever vandalize a bathroom stall because it's wrong and nasty.... And I would most definitely get caught because I wheeze when I feel too much adrenaline. 2. Rosie was a backstabbing harlot and I am proud of Taylor for cutting her loose.  Her imaginary friend was bringing her down. 3. WOW! Firstly I was not lying, it was sarcasm for the purp

Hey Mom! Is it as awkward for you as it is for me when I try to follow up an emotional blog post with the ramblings of a semi-sane individual? Yeah I thought so,  lets just get all the awkward out of the way by observing a long uncomfortable silence...... ....Ok now we can pursue new kinds of awkward!!!! So in keeping with the theme of authenticity I have come up with a top ten list of weird things I think about: 1. I really REALLY want to write "Who is nasty enough to bring a sharpie into a public bathroom" on the wall of a bathroom stall... Why? I would like to witness the ensuing chaos as vandals everywhere attempt to validate themselves while pointing how hypocritical that statement is. 2. Sometimes I give up on a story because I don't want anything bad to happen to my characters... which basically means I have imaginary friends 3. Sometimes when I'm talking to people I try to picture what kind of mythical creature they would be...

Hey Mom! So I've been trying to write about something else all week but this topic is not content to simply tumble around in my brain and has expressed this discontent in the form of writer's block.  So after facebooking and tweeting about it,  I have officially given in and will write a full length blog post.  In a previous post  I talked about the callousness of my generation and how we have the tendency to glaze over really horrific events in the world without feeling anything.  The more I think about it, the more I realize that is not isolated to historical events or things happening on the other side of the globe.  This aloofness is entrenched in everything we do.  Passionate people are obsessive.  Friendly people are overbearing.  Sad people are emotionally unstable.  We distance ourselves from any full expression of emotion outside the context of the Olympics.  We have traded authenticity and compassion for facades and sarcasm.   Does anyone know how dangerous this i

Hey Mom! If you ever feel like you are losing your sense of wonderment, you need to watch an animal documentary.  However, you must take heed and prepare yourself before you watch.  You could very well experience a whole spectrum of emotions, just remember that it's normal and if you need to talk to someone there is no shame in that.  So to guide you through your documentary I have come up with a list of stages to aid you in your journey.  I will be using a polar bear as an example but this applies to all animals. Step 1: Joy A polar bear mother has just given birth Even though they can't fend for themselves, they can tug on your heartstrings.  This is the part of the documentary where you say "Awwww babies" and for a moment however brief you would do anything to own one. Step 2: Fear Food is scarce this winter, in a pinch a male polar bear with find the mother and eat her young. Now you realize how truly helpless the animal is and how many die before they&#

Hey Mom! So as you may have noticed I am not a fan of my intro to psychology course. Let me be completely honest when I say that the material is very interesting right up until the point where my prof opens their mouth and tries to teach... Voila examples of things that my prof has said: "It's fun to hide stuff from babies" ....yep children crying is super fun "And that's why teens are so insufferable" You know most of the class is eigh teen and nine teen right?  Maybe they are so insufferable because they have to listen to you talk? "People are only afraid of death if they have regrets" ...Or you know if they don't know what's coming after they die, or if they are leaving family members who need them, or if they are really senile and don't know what's going on, or if they own a tiger named Death and they haven't fed it in awhile... just saying' We are also learning that no matter how normal you think you are,

Hey Mom! As you may know I am terrified of new things. Update my software? No thanks.  New shoes? Nope these only have four holes.  Try a new restaurant?  Get me some tums and a brown paper bag.  Most of the new things that freak me out crawl from the depths of the internet.  I am constantly bombarded with new updates, installations, cookies (not the delicious kind), new browsers and I don't know what half of it means.  What I do know is with every click I walk the razors edge, on one side I can play tetris online and over the brink lies computer terror waiting to swallow my identity as my laptop teems with viruses like the binary black plague.... or you know I might get a pop-up telling me I've won a million dollars. So anyway, on weekdays I watch this talk show called +Good Mythical Morning  which if you haven't seen it you should go watch it in fact I will include a link to the Ghost Pepper Challenge they did which is by far my favourite episode.  But recently I not

Hey Mom! Over the weekend I watched my old college, Olds College (haaaaaa) finish off their playoff run and it brought back all my fond (and not so fond) memories of college.  In fact, I am constantly torn between longing for my college days,  and being so thankful that those days are loooong gone (what is the deal with my repeating vowels todaaaay).  So I have decided the only way to pay the appropriate tribute to those beautifully awful days is with a top ten list! *Applause Light Illuminates* *Applause Light Turns Off* *Tech glares at random guy in the back who is still clapping" Top Ten Ways College is the Best-Worst 1. Small Campus Best:  No traffic, no line ups and all the buildings are really easy to find. Worst:  When you are late you have absolutely no excuse. 2. No Loitering Best: For whatever reason at the university people feel the need to sit on the stairs.  There are benches at the top of the stairs and benches at the bottom of the stairs, people