5 Steps To Watching a Documentary

Hey Mom!

If you ever feel like you are losing your sense of wonderment, you need to watch an animal documentary.  However, you must take heed and prepare yourself before you watch.  You could very well experience a whole spectrum of emotions, just remember that it's normal and if you need to talk to someone there is no shame in that.  So to guide you through your documentary I have come up with a list of stages to aid you in your journey.  I will be using a polar bear as an example but this applies to all animals.

Step 1: Joy
A polar bear mother has just given birth
Even though they can't fend for themselves, they can tug on your heartstrings.  This is the part of the documentary where you say "Awwww babies" and for a moment however brief you would do anything to own one.

Step 2: Fear
Food is scarce this winter, in a pinch a male polar bear with find the mother and eat her young.
Now you realize how truly helpless the animal is and how many die before they've even had a chance to live (sea turtles are the worst).

Step 3: Bitter-sweetness
The young polar bear grows big and strong, he will soon leave his mother and go off on his own.
Congratulations! Your animal has made it!  You were cheering for them every step of the way.  But you feel a pang of sadness as they set off on their adult life because you know they aren't your baby anymore.

Step 4: Anger
The polar bear finds a seal cub and devours it
"IT'S LIKE I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU ANYMORE!"  This occurs when the animal kills something of equal or greater cuteness, or abandons its young.

Step 5: Appreciation
This polar bear will continue to play a part in the arctic circle of life.
You have been there through the good times and bad times.  You appreciate and accept the animal for all their strengths and weaknesses.  You don't always see eye to eye but you do understand.  This animal now has a special place in your heart.... and you now know a ton of random facts you can dispense at your leisure.

So sit back with a box of junior mints and experience the world without ever leaving the comfort of your greasy sweatpants and cheeto dusted futon.

That is all.





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