A Step Back to Flaps
Hey Mom!
The adventure continues! So far this summer has been a summer of learning to adult better. However, I am finding more and more that this is a sort of two steps forward, one step back situation. Here is my one step back:
I got stuck in a jacket for at least an hour at work last week. Now for those of you who don't know... I spend almost no money on clothes (the outfit I am currently wearing cost me $6) so you can imagine that spending 5 whole Canadian dollars on a jacket was a BIG deal. Some of the folly involved with buying clothes at a reduced cost is sometimes they have flaws intrinsic to their construction.
The flaw with the jacket is that it has a sort of flap that fits under the zipper. Now I've had the jacket for awhile and as far as I can tell, the flap serves only one purpose: getting stuck in the zipper. What this means is that I get temporarily stuck in the jacket every time I try to zip or unzip it (which is really embarrassing because even Franklin can zip zippers and button buttons). Normally, this stuckness lasts momentarily while I use my superior upper body strength to rip the flap from the clutches of the zipper.
So I put on my jacket and embraced the slightly chilly day. Everything is looking good! However, this time was different. The zipper was so entrenched in the flap that all the strength I could muster wouldn't free me. But it was raining. Great news! It was raining so I had no reason to take the jacket off. Still looking good! It stopped raining. But it was still chilly and cloudy so, again, no reason to take off the jacket. The sun came out. The black jacket began to heat up. Not looking good.
So at this point I've reached a sort of stalemate. On one hand, by leaving the jacket on, I am hot and uncomfortable. On the other, by wrestling with the jacket I become hotter and more uncomfortable. So for the next 30 minutes I leave the jacket on. It is now 23 degrees celsius. In my mildly panicked mind, I begin to feel heat stress (also low back sweat which is probably the 3rd or 4th worst kind of sweat). So now I switch up my strategy because I am working in a parking lot I have to alternate between playing it cool while people are walking past and frantically wrestling with what has now become a nemesis that would seek to destroy me.
Eventually, I get the jacket partly unzipped and I think Huzzah! I'll just slip it off like a sweater. Unfortunately, all the upper body strength I bragged about earlier meant that my shoulders were firmly stuck inside the jacket. So my broad, bulgey shoulders are the water buffalo to my jacket's snake arms... at and this point it gets real.
With the jacket beginning to reach unbearable temperatures, I consider asking my coworker for help. But in that same moment I realize I would rather die, red-faced and dehydrated, than ask another grown up to extricate me from my jacket.
***It's also important to note that when I was in the 3rd grade I got stuck in my winter jacket (it had reindeer on it and I hated it) and the janitor had to use pliers to get the zipper undone so I'm already pre-traumatized for this sort of ordeal.***
So use my last bit of strength and dignity to break the zipper and free myself from the jacket (like a hero). As I aired my damp lower back to the world, I looked to the horizon once more a free woman... only to notice dark clouds approaching. Sure enough, 10 minutes later it was raining and I had the jacket back on.
Two steps forward. One step back.
That is all.
The adventure continues! So far this summer has been a summer of learning to adult better. However, I am finding more and more that this is a sort of two steps forward, one step back situation. Here is my one step back:
I got stuck in a jacket for at least an hour at work last week. Now for those of you who don't know... I spend almost no money on clothes (the outfit I am currently wearing cost me $6) so you can imagine that spending 5 whole Canadian dollars on a jacket was a BIG deal. Some of the folly involved with buying clothes at a reduced cost is sometimes they have flaws intrinsic to their construction.
The flaw with the jacket is that it has a sort of flap that fits under the zipper. Now I've had the jacket for awhile and as far as I can tell, the flap serves only one purpose: getting stuck in the zipper. What this means is that I get temporarily stuck in the jacket every time I try to zip or unzip it (which is really embarrassing because even Franklin can zip zippers and button buttons). Normally, this stuckness lasts momentarily while I use my superior upper body strength to rip the flap from the clutches of the zipper.
So I put on my jacket and embraced the slightly chilly day. Everything is looking good! However, this time was different. The zipper was so entrenched in the flap that all the strength I could muster wouldn't free me. But it was raining. Great news! It was raining so I had no reason to take the jacket off. Still looking good! It stopped raining. But it was still chilly and cloudy so, again, no reason to take off the jacket. The sun came out. The black jacket began to heat up. Not looking good.
So at this point I've reached a sort of stalemate. On one hand, by leaving the jacket on, I am hot and uncomfortable. On the other, by wrestling with the jacket I become hotter and more uncomfortable. So for the next 30 minutes I leave the jacket on. It is now 23 degrees celsius. In my mildly panicked mind, I begin to feel heat stress (also low back sweat which is probably the 3rd or 4th worst kind of sweat). So now I switch up my strategy because I am working in a parking lot I have to alternate between playing it cool while people are walking past and frantically wrestling with what has now become a nemesis that would seek to destroy me.
Eventually, I get the jacket partly unzipped and I think Huzzah! I'll just slip it off like a sweater. Unfortunately, all the upper body strength I bragged about earlier meant that my shoulders were firmly stuck inside the jacket. So my broad, bulgey shoulders are the water buffalo to my jacket's snake arms... at and this point it gets real.
With the jacket beginning to reach unbearable temperatures, I consider asking my coworker for help. But in that same moment I realize I would rather die, red-faced and dehydrated, than ask another grown up to extricate me from my jacket.
***It's also important to note that when I was in the 3rd grade I got stuck in my winter jacket (it had reindeer on it and I hated it) and the janitor had to use pliers to get the zipper undone so I'm already pre-traumatized for this sort of ordeal.***
So use my last bit of strength and dignity to break the zipper and free myself from the jacket (like a hero). As I aired my damp lower back to the world, I looked to the horizon once more a free woman... only to notice dark clouds approaching. Sure enough, 10 minutes later it was raining and I had the jacket back on.
Two steps forward. One step back.
That is all.
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