Return of the Fish Wizard and Other Canada Day Adventures

Hey Mom!

LAST WEEK: Mack, Wizard of Fish, was down on her luck as she ate expired fish and proceeded to have an out of bowel experience.

 THIS WEEK: On Thursday night (or Canada Day Eve, if you prefer) I made fish and chips:

Marvel at the light flakey exterior, look in want at the crispness of the chips
In the interest of being honest I feel you should know I burnt the first two... badly... really badly
Now there are a few pieces of knowledge I'd like to impart upon you mere mortals (the fish wizard is immortal, in case you were wondering).

1. I know absolutely nothing about beer. Neither of my parents drink and I played sports for so long and feel strongly that athletes shouldn't drink (unpopular, I know). So I walked into the liquor store looking for a single can of beer (firstly, WOW you can buy a single can of beer?!?), I gazed upon the wall of single beer cans and thought does lite beer mean it's diet, like it's got a bunch of aspartame in it? So I avoided the light beer because as the wizard of fish, I can't go around cooking diet fish... it might make people feel like regular fish is not the healthy choice and that's not fair to regular fish.  In the end, I picked the green can... not because it was green, but because it had a fish on the front... clearly a Fish Wizard is this beer's target demographic.

2. Hot oil is hot. I dropped some on my foot... I know it's bad because there is a blister but I can't feel anything. Nerve endings are for suckers.

3. Homemade fries take forever to cook. That's it... they just take forever.

Now I'd like to take a break from the scheduled programming to inform you of the following:

So over the long weekend I went on a solo hike in Devon, had lunch in Red Deer with a friend, spent the evening in Calgary with family, had lunch in Airdrie with my grandparents AND spent a few hours at Sylvan Lake. I know what you're thinking Mack, why do you think I care about any of this? 

At this time I would ask you to direct your attention to the rant below:

I told you so.
I. Told. You. So.
I TOLD you SO.
I can be fun and spontaneous. I can be hip and relevant. I can make plans at the last minute. I can roll with the figurative punches. I'm more than my tightly wound ball of uptightness would have you believe!

Now join us next as we take a look at Nature! The Asthmatic Dream/Nightmare:

It was actually a nature trail... 
...which isn't exactly the same thing as hiking.
Behold! The majesty of allergens.

Just leaves you pining for nature eh? 
This is the abridged version I have so many more photos.
Get it? Because there's a bridge in the previous photo.

Steep and uphill... perfect for beginners such as myself.


Steep and muddy... perfect for beginners such as myself.

Seems straightforward....

As an adult I know better than to touch a butterfly... but it definitely took all my self control.

Probably mostly animal pee... just my expert opinion



Bless you, vandals



Woodpeckers are sort of like tree-skunks...
What these photos don't capture is that I got figuratively millions of mosquito bites I received (literally, 57).  I also spent some time running around on the mountain bike paths (which I'm fairly certain is both stupid and dangerous but it was fun and I have a great deal of confidence in my general swiftness).

Happy Canada day!

That is all.

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